Guy #1 to guy #2: Those sunglasses look really good on you. They go nicely with your complexion.
Guy #3: That was an amazingly Fab Five moment.
–Bronx Science
Guy #1 to guy #2: Those sunglasses look really good on you. They go nicely with your complexion.
Guy #3: That was an amazingly Fab Five moment.
–Bronx Science
Ghetto girl: What's wrong wit you?
Hoodlum: Yo, I already told you I was bisexual!
–McClellan St & Sheridan Ave
Overheard by: South Bronx Beat Cop
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
Teen boy: Wow, look, my feet are bigger than yours!
Dad: So what? My dick is bigger than yours!
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Sarah
Old lady #1: I hate the back door.
Old lady #2: Me, too.
–Bronx Zoo
Girl: Did you hear that one?
Friend: Nope.
Girl: Do I have to blow my ass out on your face for you to hear my farts?
–New York Botanical Garden, the Bronx
Girl #1: Did you see how drunk he was?
Girl #2: Yeah, that’s why I was hurrying him off the bus. I just knew he was going to vomit on me. I could see it…the vomit. Not tonight.
–Morris Park, The Bronx
Overheard by: Reg Johnson
Crazy hobo (to the tune of Elvis’ Hound dog): Ain’t nothing but a hound dog! (mutters next two lines) And you never fuck a rabbit in the ass, cause that’s just a waste of time!
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Man, to the tune of Hit Me Baby One More Time: I need to pee out of my urethra.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Noelle
Guy in back of the bus wearing headphones and singing: (almost inaudible) I wanna die…I just wanna die.
(everyone stares at him)
Guy: (almost inaudible) I wanna die… I wanna dieeeeeeee.
–Bx 9 Bus, Fordham Plaza
Overheard by: Krisztina, sitting right in front of him
Homeless guy singing while shaking paper cup full of change: Oh me, oh my… There goes perfection. Oh me, oh my… Here comes an erection.
–13th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: rolf
Young Hispanic man singing to Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven: And there’s a wino down the road!
–E train
Overheard by: In_the_Shadows
Crazy hobo signing to two passing women: Vaaaggiiinnnaaa… Vaaagggiiiinnaaaa. (stretches out his neck towards them and emphasizes) Vaaaaggggiiiiinnnaaaaaa!
–Near NYU
Overheard by: Joe
Boy: Mommy, I see the eagle.
Mom: Congratulations, what do you want, a fucking medal?
Pause
Mom: And there are two of them!
–Birds of Prey exhibit, Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Cam
Chick: Is that woman pregnant and drinking a beer? Oh wait, that’s just her gut. Probably from all the beer!
–Yankee Stadium
