JAP to friend: Why is it that I only get hit on by the creepy, ugly guys?
Hobo: Um, have you looked in the mirror lately? Maybe it's 'cuz you ugly!
–Outside The Met
JAP to friend: Why is it that I only get hit on by the creepy, ugly guys?
Hobo: Um, have you looked in the mirror lately? Maybe it's 'cuz you ugly!
–Outside The Met
Dude #1: You know, Gerard Butler has it good. He's good-looking, but not too good-looking, he's not that ripped…
Dude #2: What the hell not ripped? Gerard Butler is stacked!
Dude #1: He's totally not. He may have been for 300, but I asked him to lift up his shirt, and he's not.
–Elevator, The Met
Chick on cell: Do you prefer the superhero theme to us in only aprons, holding penis cakes?
–Garden of Eden Supermarket, 107th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
White guy to white girl: Wait, you'd be proud to be supermanned by me?
–D Train
(at the superhero fashion exhibit, in front of Catwoman's display)
Man to little kid: Oh, and look! She has a whip. I wonder what that's for…
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: EK
Black guy on cell: Nigga, you can't be James Bond and Batman, you pick which one you are.
–Smith & 9th St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ewan Walsh
Girl on cell: Am I gonna need to drug you, put you in a superhero costume, and snap photos?
–Halloween Adventure Store
Overheard by: McF
Batman to four-year-old who jumped out from behind a table: Evan, don't sneak up on me. Superheroes are wound very tight.
–Birthday party, Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: PG
Guy to friend (as a security guard makes people stand up): See? You really can't sit on the steps of The Met anymore.
Friend: Is it because of the tourists? God, I hate the tourists. I saw tourists taking pictures of a Taco Bell at Penn Station today. Those fuckers.
–Steps of The Met
Overheard by: April
Long Island lady #1: Okay. I get what he's doing now. I'm moving on to the landscapes. Join me when you're done.
Long Island lady #2 (still entranced): Um. Yes. Yes, I'm done too.
–Nude Room, Gustave Courbet Exhibit, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Colleen
Patron: Do these stairs go up?
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Maura
Drunk White Sox fan to passerby: Hey, what time does Times Square close?
–Outside Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: giovanna
Dude at the next table: Is Long Island really an island?
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Yes, he really just said that
(girl sees poster for Army Wives and turns to friend)
Girl: I don’t get that show. Are they married to army dudes or something?
–C Train
Southern lady: Empire State ReBuilding? Does that mean they’re moving it?
–33rd & 5th
Overheard by: Katie Mainc
ACLU girl soliciting signatures for petition: Hey, you’ve heard of us, haven’t you?
Old man: Yes, we have. And we don’t like you! We don’t like you!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: Samantha
Met guard: Don’t touch that [Points to ancient Greek statue.]Little girl: Not even a little?
Met guard: Not even a little.
[Pause.]Little girl: Not even a little little?
Met guard: Vera, stop.
Little girl: Ok. No touching. Got it. [Sticks out her tongue and gives the marble a long, slow, slobbering lick.]
–The Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: Brendan
Mother: Oh, guess what, honey? Debbie’s having a baby!
Six-year-old daughter: She’s going to be a horrible mother.
–The Met
Student #1: So, are you taking any other art history courses?
Student #2: Yeah, that’s my major — I’m taking a million.
Student #1: This class is so hard.
Student #2: It’s okay, I guess…
Student #1: Is it just me, or did you think this class was going to be about pilgrims?
Student #2: Well, it is… I don’t know. Didn’t you read the course description?
Student #1: Yeah, but I thought it was going to be about the kind that eat turkeys and pumpkins…
–The Met
