Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Woman: The problem is that I’m flesh and you keep thinking that I’m stone.
Man: Actually I was just thinking about fucking you.
–Village Vanguard, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Can you hear me when I roll my eyes?
–82nd & York
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
Girl #1: So, I don’t know, I guess I’m giving up manicures for Lent.
Girl #2: Really? Shit! I’m not. Robbie would not be cool with that.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Katie M.
Man: Do you work or go to school?
JAP: I work.
Man: Really? Because you look young.
JAP: How old do you think I am?
Man: 19?
JAP: Do you really think you should be hitting on a 19 year old girl?
–Falucka, Bleecker Street
Woman: So the Olympics are in Italy?
Man: Yeah, Torino.
Woman: Where’s that?
Man: Italy.
–Bryant Park
Guy: Hey, you seen that movie Grizzly Man yet?
Girl: No, but I really really want to.
Guy: Yeah, it’s so good. Hey, you know they’re making a movie about the bear guy? Already! And guess who’s starring in it!
Girl: I dunno…
Guy: Leonardo da Vinci!
Girl: Who?
Guy: You know! Leonardo da Vinci! Leonardo da Vinci!
–New School elevator, 13th & 5th
Overheard by: Halli Civelek
Shopgirl: Can I help anyone with anything?
Man: Yeah, can you give me a lobotomy? ‘Cause I really need one.
Shopgirl: Sorry, no.
Man: C’mon, just bring out a sledgehammer!
–Magnolia Bakery, Bleecker Street
