Hobo: Nickel? Dime?
Yuppie guy: I can’t hear you, asshole.
–Horatio & Eighth
Hobo: Nickel? Dime?
Yuppie guy: I can’t hear you, asshole.
–Horatio & Eighth
Guy #1: You know the reason why human beings are not at the top of the food chain?
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Pez.
–Washington Square Park
Guy #1: So you don’t eat beef, huh?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: You’re that religious that you don’t eat beef?
Guy #2: Yeah, I guess.
Guy #1: Well, you’ve got cheese on your grilled chicken, what about that?
Guy #2: What about it?
Guy #1: Well, you’re killing the cow.
Guy #2: No, I’m not…
Guy #1: Oh, well, what about cows that drink cow’s milk?
–Hayden Dining Hall, Washington Square West
Overheard by: Calvin T.
Dude #1: Going to NYU is interesting.
Dude #2: No, getting a girl pregnant is interesting.
–Washington Square South & LaGuardia
Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.
–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street
Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.
–6 train
Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.
–L train
Overheard by: Jess
Woman: The problem is that I’m flesh and you keep thinking that I’m stone.
Man: Actually I was just thinking about fucking you.
–Village Vanguard, 7th Avenue South
Overheard by: Paul
Girl on cell: Can you hear me when I roll my eyes?
–82nd & York
Chick on cell: It’s a long story involving a lot of urine, but the gist of it is, we can’t use that refrigerator ever again.
–Madison Square Garden ladies’ room
