Student #1: She’s from the Dominican Republic, right?
Student #2: Um, yeah, I think so.
Student #1: Is she classy…?
Student #2: Eh, not really, no. At the meeting the other day, she was wearing a skirt. I could see her cooch.
Student #3: [Just joining the conversation] What’s a cooch?
[Silence.]Student #1: Her vagina.
Student #2: Her forest. Except it was barren. There were no trees. Barren.
–Columbia University
Drunk girl on corner, to friend coming out of McDonald's: Did you go pee?
Drunk girl coming out of McDonald's: Yep.
Drunk girl on corner: Vagina happy?
Drunk girl coming out of McDonald's: Vagina happy!
–Fulton St. & Gold St.
Overheard by: the fundamental question
Hispanic man #1, on bus: Yo, my hand smells like pussy.
Hispanic man #2: Yeah, now she gonna go home and kiss the other guy, and then he gonna, and you were just there.
(hysterical drunken laughter)
Hispanic man #3: I haven't gotten pussy in a while, though. Since last summer.
Hispanic man #1: Yeah, you know I just love getting my dick sucked.
–Q58 Bus
6th grader boy: So, my whole life I've heard pussy is great…
6th grader girl: And?
6th grader boy: Well, I tried it… and it ain't that great.
6th grader girl: Why?
6th grader boy: It tasted weird. (pause) Next time I'll buy it from somewhere else.
–116th St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: I love masturbating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I totally love touching my vagina!
–Sultana Hookah Bar
Overheard by: rich
Guy: Where do you keep your pussy enhancer?
Girl: On the shelf, under my Pee-wee Herman doll.
–160th St & Malcolm X
Overheard by: Hanz Shnrub
Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?
–East Village
Overheard by: C
Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad!
Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.
Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up?
–M104 Bus
Girl to male friend: I mean, they were both lousy lovers, but when it came right down to it her vagina was just too wide.
–110th & Broadway
Ghetto teen: Yo, girl! Don’t be pickin’ at yo’ pussy like that in the street! You’ll be on YouTube tomorrow!
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: Big Larry
JAP: I don’t understand how a baby just fell out of her vagina and she didn’t feel anything!
–Outside Lafayette St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: Philouza
Girl on cell: I fully support the idea of a vagina factory.
–7th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Liam Cubbin
Bimbette: Tiff, do these make my vagina look furry?
–Dressing room, Macy’s
Overheard by: SarahM
Chick: My vagina seems so crooked today…
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Bruce
Girl on cell: No! He was seriously, like, drilling for oil or something. My vagina is not a source of fossil fuel!
–Central Park
Overheard by: But it’d be cool if it were
10-year-old girl in school uniform: Ew! You mean you'd still go through with it?
10-year-old boy in school uniform: Yeah! At least she'd still have a vagina!
–Park Ave & 79th St
