6th grader boy: So, my whole life I've heard pussy is great…
6th grader girl: And?
6th grader boy: Well, I tried it… and it ain't that great.
6th grader girl: Why?
6th grader boy: It tasted weird. (pause) Next time I'll buy it from somewhere else.
–116th St & 2nd Ave
Girl #1: I love masturbating.
Girl #2: Yeah, I totally love touching my vagina!
–Sultana Hookah Bar
Overheard by: rich
Guy: Where do you keep your pussy enhancer?
Girl: On the shelf, under my Pee-wee Herman doll.
–160th St & Malcolm X
Overheard by: Hanz Shnrub
Girlfriend: My shoes are killing me.
Boyfriend: If you don't stop I'll have to punch you in the cunt.
Girlfriend: Would you even know where to find it?
–East Village
Overheard by: C
Girl: I have to pee sooooo bad!
Mother: You just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago.
Girl: But I have to pee again! Can you put something in my vagina to hold it up?
–M104 Bus
Girl to male friend: I mean, they were both lousy lovers, but when it came right down to it her vagina was just too wide.
–110th & Broadway
Ghetto teen: Yo, girl! Don’t be pickin’ at yo’ pussy like that in the street! You’ll be on YouTube tomorrow!
–South St Seaport
Overheard by: Big Larry
JAP: I don’t understand how a baby just fell out of her vagina and she didn’t feel anything!
–Outside Lafayette St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: Philouza
Girl on cell: I fully support the idea of a vagina factory.
–7th St & Bedford Ave
Overheard by: Liam Cubbin
Bimbette: Tiff, do these make my vagina look furry?
–Dressing room, Macy’s
Overheard by: SarahM
Chick: My vagina seems so crooked today…
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Bruce
Girl on cell: No! He was seriously, like, drilling for oil or something. My vagina is not a source of fossil fuel!
–Central Park
Overheard by: But it’d be cool if it were
10-year-old girl in school uniform: Ew! You mean you'd still go through with it?
10-year-old boy in school uniform: Yeah! At least she'd still have a vagina!
–Park Ave & 79th St
Lawyer #1: I saw this funny video on YouTube last night. I did a search for “retards” and there was this one called “retarded Britney Spears fan.” It was a retard singing one of her songs.
Lawyer #2: Have you seen 2 Girls 1 Cup?
Lawyer #1: I was able to watch about two seconds of it before I had to click it off.
Lawyer #2: Did you see the one called “extreme pain”? I could only watch about five seconds of it. A guy was cutting off his own dick.
Lawyer #1: That's some sick shit. How's your cat?
Lawyer #2: You should see her. She rolls over on her back and my dog licks her between the legs for a long time, then smacks his lips.
Lawyer #1: You should video that and put it on YouTube. Call it “eating pussy.” You'll get a million hits!
–Civil Court, 141 Livingston St., Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guy #1: Yo, did you just check out the vagina on that mannequin?
Guy #2: Yeah, is that weird?
Guy #1: Nah, I did too.
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: alex
Drunk girl with tinsel in her hair: Alright, so why is in my history that it says "thehugestcock.com"?
–Starbucks, Sheridan Square
Drunk guy: The Amazins? Fuck them! The only amazin' thing about them is they never fucking win…
–Downtown 6 Train
Drunk man at 1:30 am: Vagina bar!
–49th St, Astoria
Drunk girlfriend to even drunker boyfriend: Ohmigod! I have to get up in five hours and teach!
–116th St
