Bible Thwacker: Have you considered turning back to Jesus?
Woman: Have you considered licking my clitoris?
–Times Square
A psychic was handing out flyers, and was rebuffed by one woman with: Hey, if you were psychic, you’d know I don’t believe in that shit.
–Bensonhurst
Overheard by: Deborah Olin
B&T chick: What I really liked about this guy is that he could write his name in cocaine. And underline it.
–Grand Central food court
Overheard by: Nathan K. Claus
Guy: All I want is for my relatives to die in a certain order.
–University Ave, Bronx
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Guy on cell: It’s not like I sucked some guy’s dick last…oh wait, I did!
–Houston & Lafayette
Overheard by: a.alvarez & c.palmatier
Guy: I’m sorry, I left my foundation at home today.
–The Flame, Clinton
Overheard by: Sandy
Girl: We’re outside now. Now I can entertain you.
–57th & Park
Overheard by: heather
Hobo: Hey Mr. Rockafella, can you help a blackafella?
— 7th Av & W. 11th
Overheard by: Gillian Glasser
Eurochick: I’ve got to dance tonight. I didn’t make any money here this week.
–Soho salon
Woman on cell: Where are you? I’m lost!…I don’t know! I’m uptown. I’m on a corner. I’m in front of a tall building.
–57th & Lex
Overheard by: Heather
B&T girl: These bra inserts I’m wearing are hard as rocks!
–Tao Asian Bistro, Midtown
Woman: Well, I trusted you before you put your dick in her.
–Tabla Bread Bar, Flatiron District
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I'm unstoppable! I'm like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, "what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?" and I was like, "what wouldn't you do with a giant inflatable turkey?"
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
Conductor: This is the last train. You have no other options, this is it. Get on this train.
–Metro North Rail
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please keep your feet off the seats on this train. They belong on the floor; that's why it's there. If you can't put your feet on the floor because your luggage is there, don't worry: we took care of that too. Look up. That thing above your head is a luggage rack.
–NJ Transit, Penn Station
Announcement on NJ transit train: If you have young children, please take them…by the hand when leaving the train.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: JerseyJR
Train conductor: This is 18th Street, if this is your stop…get up! Give up that seat!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Chris K… at 11pm
Amtrak conductor: We are experiencing engine problems and need to change trains. But I want you to know that we have lost no altitude.
–Amtrak Train
Conductor, philosophical about delayed train: We don't usually have this type of delay at this time of day. But, well, here we are… (train starts to move) Aha! Here it is!
–A Train
Overheard by: Katie J
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, do you know where you are? (passengers are silent) I do! Hudson, next stop.
–Amtrak Train, Leaving Penn Station
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven't even had a kid, I'm getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That's not a pocket, that's my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What's up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
Guy: He’s really cool as Chickenhawks go.
–E 15th St, near Stuyvesant Park
Preppy girl: Oh my god, this salad is bangin’, but it needs chicken. I need some motherfuckin’ chicken on my motherfuckin’ salad!
–McDonald’s, Broadway
Mother to daughter: Stand over here. Birds be shittin’.
–Near Penn Station
Overheard by: Checking for pigeons
Guy, looking at man walking duck on leash: That’s just like the duck I used to have!
–Central Park
Man, scared by parrot’s loud screech : What the fuck was that? A duck?
–86th St & 2nd Ave
Man: If I was homeless, I would totally get a big trash bag and stuff it with pigeon feathers. It would be like a big down comforter.
–9th St & 1st Ave
Hipster girl: I know. Pigeon shit and Clorox! If I’m not dead next week it will be a miracle!
–St. Marks & 1st Ave
Overheard by: off white
