Weirdness

Old man in laundry room: I saw a young man the other day put about 8 Levi's in this little machine, here. They came out with soap all over them because he didn't give them enough room. I turned to him and said, "young man, you need your mother."

–25th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Adam and AMC

Old man, yelling at a passing ambulance with blaring sirens: Oh, shut the fuck up. Goddamnit!

–Broadway & Washington Place

Little old lady, passing a steep cellar: Wow. I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs.

–Broome Street b/w Allen & Eldridge

Overheard by: always take the elevator

Little old lady to physical therapist: Can I Facebook friend you?

–Parkside Physical Therapy, 100th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Old Greek man to another: Ya gotta use ya mind, ya money, and ya mouth. Mmm. The three Ms.

–Ditmars

Overheard by: ashley

Old lady with walker to nurse: I just love fresh air and a cigarette.

–5th & B

Overheard by: Adam Glaser

Older man to waiter: You didn't tell me that soup wasn't included. I can't believe you're charging someone of my generation for soup. I shouldn't have to pay for just water, chicken, and rice. Some of us here are on a fixed income. (to neighboring table) You be careful! Your bill's going to come to $30! (pays at register) You should have told me. Now I hope you're happy that tomorrow an old man won't be able to afford his medicine.

–New Wave Cafe, 79th & Broadway

Overheard by: EthanK

Turkish man #1: So I was like taking this massive shit when…
Turkish man #2 (interrupting): Hey, you know what I fancy? A hot dog.

–56th St

Overheard by: Joey Potter

Flashy creepster to blonde: Look at me. (she doesn't) Look at me. (she doesn't) Look at me. (she does) You should be careful. It's a big city.
New-in-town blonde girl: After what I just went through I'm just going to have five boyfriends.
Flashy creepster: I'm telling you. You should be careful. It's a big city. Not everyone is good.
New-in-town blonde girl: I was having a good time, and then I fell and love and got burned.
Flashy creepster (menacing): I'm telling you. Not everyone is good.
New-in-town blonde girl: I'm just who I am. If you can't handle me…
Flashy creepster: Oh, I can handle you. I can handle you very well.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: jbrizzle

Guy: I mean, I called after him but he had already left.
Girl: So now you're stuck with his pants?
Guy: Yeah, I wonder when he'll notice.

–Stuyvesant High School

Boyfriend: I'd totally go to Jedi church.
Girlfriend: Why won't you come to my alien church, but you'll go to Jedi church?
Dorky third wheel: Cuz Jedis are real.

–V Train

Three-year-old, greeting grandma in Starbucks: Grandma! Grandma! Hey grandma, are you wearing your special underpants? Are you wearing your special underpants, grandma?
Grandma (laughing): Yes, yes.

–Brooklyn Heights Starbucks

Model-looking chick: Hey, sorry I'm late. I had to work extra hours at work today.
Not-so-model-looking chick: No problem, that sounds like it sucked, what did you have to stay after for?
Model-looking chick: Oh, I fucked my client.

–13th St b/w 1st & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: smoking on your stoop has its uses

Girl #1: Yeah, and I read that Hitler didn't really make the trains run on time. You know how they say he made them run on time? He didn't. They were always late. I read a study.
Girl #2: Of course! Because Nazis are evil! Evil people can't make trains run on time!

–Ladies' Room, Office Holiday Party

Hobo: What's in the bag, lady?
Rich lady: Oh, nothing. You wouldn't want it.
Hobo: What is it?
Rich lady: It's nothing. Just soap.
Hobo: I want soap!

–University Place

Overheard by: Todd S.

Excited young girl pointing at subway sign: That says “subway”!
Mother, dismissively: No, it doesn't.

–Union Square