Young girl: Are you okay? Are you okay?
Younger girl: [Nods.]Young girl: Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna have fun?
Younger girl: Yeah.
Young girl: I have a hint for you: don’t fall down.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lauren Wurf
Young girl: Are you okay? Are you okay?
Younger girl: [Nods.]Young girl: Do you wanna have fun? Do you wanna have fun?
Younger girl: Yeah.
Young girl: I have a hint for you: don’t fall down.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Lauren Wurf
Shopgirl #1: T-shirt! Deep-fry your t-shirt, and then he’ll be all, ‘Mmm!’ and eat it off you!
Shopgirl #2: Yeah.
–Borders
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
15-year-old kid at stoop sale: Yo, I should totally buy this.
Friend #1: It’s a door. What are you going to do with a door?
15-year-old kid: Yeah, but it’s only 20 dollars.
Friend #2: You should definitely buy it.
–Carroll St, between 6th & 7th Ave, Park Slope
Overheard by: mervis
Lady: Gentlemen, please. Would you lower your voices? [Unruly teen unleashes stream of Spanish curses, then prepares to disembark.] Jack, do I look like I understood a word you said? All of that was wasted energy. Never insult anyone in a language they don’t know, because then it doesn’t mean shit.
–4 train, 161st St
Teen girl #1: So, last night we were talking, and he still wants to put it in my ass… Like, how could I be with someone who only thinks about shoving his thing up my ass?
Teen girl #2: So what are you gonna do?
Teen girl #1: I don’t know! Help me!
Teen girl #2, puzzled: I thought you love anal sex?
Teen girl #1: Oh, yeah.
–S79 bus
Overheard by: rob l
Mom: Daniel, it’s time you started opening doors for me.
Son: Um… okay.
Mom: Well? [Gestures at doors.]Son: Oh! I thought you meant metaphorically…
–W 111th St
Overheard by: Talker’s Remorse
Headline by: Arliss Travers
Runners-Up:
· “…like When We Played Doctor.” – mike chmiel
· “Just Like Your Allowance” – nobody
· “No, I Meant Vaginally” – DanaLishs
· “Sorry, My Oedipus Complex Doesn’t Kick in for Another Year or Two.” – Andrew G
· “Thalidomide or No, You Work That Flipper Young Man” – bobofthejungle
· “The Birds and the Bees Talk Really Confused Me….” – Breanne S.
· “You Know, Like When You Tell Dad the Garden Needs Watering” – Jonty
Mom to screaming child: Now, honey, I want you to be yourself, just not to everyone.
–3rd St & Ave B
Overheard by: amanda
British mum to eight-year-old son: Bobby, stop looking at the bloody NASDAQ.
–Outside Toys ‘R’ Us
Loud lady to son: Go stand in line behind that Mexican man! Don’t let him intimidate you!
–Port Authority Bus Terminal
Overheard by: jenmo
Dad to baby in stroller: Did you know that the price of copper is becoming irrelevant?!
–31st & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Scarfish
Father to young son: Why are you putting your butt on me?
–Brooklyn Industries, 9th & 7th
Man to son: Don’t you tell me to shut up! I just bought you a bunch of Star Wars toys!
–Macy’s
Fat lady #1: I don’t know… I ain’t into all that freaky shit.
Fat lady #2: You just need to tell him you can’t be his nasty bitch no more.
Fat lady #1: I know that’s right, girl.
–6 train platform
Overheard by: Peter
Tuxedo: Oh, you should have called us! We could have gotten you into Spago. We go there all the time! The guy there is, like, our best friend! Honey, what’s the name of that guy at Spago?
Trophy wife: We’ve never been to Spago. You went there with Jennifer.
–Greenwich & N Moore
Overheard by: annulla
