Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Who’ll gimme a dollar fo’ this kitten? I know one of ya’lls got a dollar fo’ this kitten. You?! You?!
Confused passerby: Didn’t you get that from the vacant lot behind you?
Enormous black woman clutching frantic feral cat: Shut up, fool! Okay… Fitty cent, then!
–West 153rd St
Overheard by: goofopet
Black chick on cell: What? You don’t want a picture of me? Huh? I said, ‘You don’t want a picture of me?’ I’ll send you one of me and my baby. Huh? My baby’s one now. Huh? Man, I been tellin’ you I had a baby. What? You my big baby, that’s my baby baby.
–Coney Island
Black guy: I’m Jesus!
Woman: No, you’re not.
Black guy: Lady, I’m Jesus!
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
White chick: They’ll believe you raped me when I was drunk!
Black guy: Baby, don’t play that game with me.
White chick: Why not? I can — you’re black!
Black guy: Aw, shit!
–29th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Scott
Guy on cell: I finally figured out why I have no sons — no woman will sleep with me.
–Penn Station
Computer geek: I was leveling up my Wizard… Man, I’m never going to have sex.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Irbs
Loud NYU chick on cell: So, there was this guy there that kept announcing he needed to get laid… Yeah, I know. And I’m thinking, ‘Dude, you don’t let the world know you need to get laid, you just get laid,’ you know what I mean? I mean, I need to get laid, too, but I’m not letting the world know that!
–Au Bon Pain, E 8th St
Black lady on cell: … So the doctor says, ‘Tell me about your sex life.’ I told him, ‘I don’t have a sex life. I hate everyone.’
–6 train
Overheard by: SilentButDeadly
Angry black lady: I’m gonna 69 that motherfucker!
Friend: What?!
Angry black lady: I mean, 68 or 67 or… I dunno. Star 67! That way the bitch won’t know it’s me callin’.
–City Hall Park
Overheard by: This is what makes New York City so great
Thug #1: Yeah, me too. I get so much pussy… Sometimes I’m too tired to even fuck ’em all.
Thug #2: Nigga, you gay.
–M4 bus stop, 110th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: High LiferforLife
White mom calling seven-year-old girl: Isis, come back over here! Don’t wander off – stay where I can see you!
Black man: Woman, you name me ‘Isis,’ and I wander as far away from you as I can get. I don’t blame that girl. Isis! What kind of name is that for a little white girl? Damn! Now I know white people crazy.
–Central Park
Black guy holding out headphones: Hey man, you like hip-hop music? It’s all me right here, pimp!
Long-haired metalhead: Nah, man. I got nothing.
Black guy: White boy with no money? C’mon, I find that hard to believe.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Phil
Prep chick: Is it amoebas that come from Mexico? Or am I thinking of armadillos?
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Francesca
White teen girl: So, is there a Friday next week?
–4 train
Overheard by: Gregorio
Girlfriend: If your friends told you to jump down a bridge, would you do it?
–D train, Grand Concourse
Suit to black gangster holding large chameleon: Excuse me, sir. What species of dinosaur is that?
–Manhattan-bound F train
Overheard by: Josh
Teen: So how much would the game cost if it was $17.99?
–Game Stop, Forest Hills
Future zoologist: They have sea lions here! They’re like lions — from the sea!
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: Andrew K.
