Preppy drunk blond #1 in ladies room: Oh my god! How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you!
Preppy drunk blond #2: Oh my god, I'm great! When I noticed I was bleeding I decided to come in here and wash my face!
–Circle Line Cruise
Overheard by: nika
Friend pushing cart to little girl: Get your feet out of the way! C'mon!
Mom of little girl: No, it's okay. She don't love her feet.
–F Train
Overheard by: Jaxx
Professor: May I speak of your mother's uterus?
Foreign grad student: Uh…
Professor: You're sharing such a small space. Someone's bound to get more resources. It's crazy!
–Lecture Hall, NYU
Overheard by: uteran lining
Girl wearing yoga outfit to friend: And I'm like "you know that your face looks like a fucking cartoon character, don't you?"
–Houston & Mott
Overheard by: JohnJayinNYC
Teen boy: I don't like people. I just like Pokemon.
–Chipotle, Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Mike N
Blipster: Girl, you know I already got a headache and then she all up in my face with that Dragon Ball Z breath.
–Fulton & Pearl
Girl, during promo network commercial before Up: It is not Cartoon Network if there are real people. I refuse to watch this show.
–Movie Theatre, Battery Park
Overheard by: Yelena
Excited man on cell: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles? What are they? People love ancient Egypt way more than ninja turtles.
–Hungarian Pastry Shop
Overheard by: Casey Black
Scruffy hipster to friend: Now all we need to do is find Splinter and Donatello.
–L Train
Overheard by: lilli
Red-headed boy: I like your nose.
Brunette girl: Okay.
Red-headed boy: It's like “ah! I'm a nose!”
–R Train
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, shocked: And in France, men kiss each other! On the cheek!
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, mumbling: Wow, I wish I was French.
Hyper five-year-old boy #1, puzzled: Wait, what?
Hyper five-year-old boy #2, disgruntled, sighing: Nothing.
–Coldstone Creamery
Overheard by: Kat
Yelling hobo to 20-something women: Do you love Jesus?! Jesus loves you!
Woman #1: No… apparently he doesn't. We're lesbians.
Yelling hobo: Lesbians?! Does your mama know?! Does your mama know you're a faggot?
Woman #2: Uuuh… her's mom's a lesbian, too.
Yelling hobo: What!? What would Jesus think of this?
Woman #1: Actually, Jesus is in my stomach!
–53rd & 9th
Drunken woman: Know what? If he does that one more time I'm gonna nail-file my teeth down to my brain.
Drunken man: I did that once. Not as bad as you'd think.
–BBQ Place, Times Square
Girl #1: What's that?
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: That box in your mouth?!
–6 Train
Hot guy: Oh, by the way, did I tell you my girlfriend headbutted me?
Blonde: What? During sex?
Hot guy: Yeah, she gave me a bloody nose.
Blonde: Rough. Did you keep at it after the blood?
Hot guy: Yes.
–5th Ave
Overheard by: Sam Dullard
