The CDC Has Issued a Travel Advisory

Boyfriend, looking at girlfriend's iPhone: Who is this guy Nick that you're talking to?
Ditzy girlfriend: Whatever…you don't have to worry about him. He's from New Jersey, so I would never touch him.
Boyfriend: What's that have to do with anything?
Ditzy girlfriend: Hello! Everyone knows that everyone in New Jersey has STDs!

–7 Train

Headline by: kate

Runners-Up:
· “Experience=Wisdom” – Fresca
· “I Only Cheat on You Within the Five Boroughs” – The Cleveland Kid
· “It’s Why They Have 50 Different Words for Painful Urination” – Brother Elmer
· “Nick: I Told Her That’s Not What “Suburbia” Is…” – Porter
· “Why Lincoln & Holland Toll Takers Wear Gloves” – Leary Blaine

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on December 11, 2015
Boyfriends, Cell Phone, Girlfriends, Headline Contest Winners, Infidelity, On the Subway, Questions, STDs, Stupidity

I Remember When You Made Your Thong Hum Like a Bowstring

Boyfriend: So do you still fart in your sleep?
Girlfriend: I think so. I mean I can't really remember…

–Molly's Irish Pub, 3rd Ave & 22nd St

Posted on September 10, 2015
Bars & Clubs, Boyfriends, Farting & Burping, Girlfriends, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Weirdness

Wednesday Pick-Up-Liners

Guy, bumping into girlfriend as bus lurches: Sorry baby, that’s gravity. I can’t help it, I’m physically attracted to you.

–M116 Bus

Overheard by: I hate the bus

Construction worker hitting on young girl: Hey baby, you are too cute to be so pretty!

–Allen & East Houston

Black bag seller to passerby: Hey sweetheart, you wanna buy a bag today? I’ll tell you what, you buy a bag and I’ll give you my number for free.

–33rd & Broadway

Man to teenage girls: Do you and your friends like to wrestle? I swear to god I could take you all.

–Times Square

Overheard by: yearbookie

Homie to friends: They say in the old days you couldn’t even holler at a woman cause she wouldn’t answer you.

–South Williamsburg

Overheard by: DanielXY

Homeless man to cute passerby: Nice knees.

–Central Park

Posted on August 12, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Black People, Body Parts, Boyfriends, Central Park, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Construction Guys, Friends, Gender issues, History & Geography, Hobos, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Nice People, Offers and requests, On the Bus, Orgy, Parks, Physical appearance, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Relationships, Shopping, Street, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers, Weirdness, Williamsburg

If You Give Them Too Much Attention, the Terrorists Win

Girlfriend, pointing at the base of a tree: Look! Look! There’s a rat and a squirrel fighting!
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend: Yes there is! Look! There’s a fucking rat attacking that squirrel!
Boyfriend: Shhhh. Don’t talk about the rats. Don’t pay attention to them.
Girlfriend, pointing at passerby: Look at her, she saw them! She knows what I’m talking about.
Boyfriend: Ignore the rats.

–Washington Square Park East

Posted on August 7, 2015
Advice, Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Default, Fighting and ass kicking, Girlfriends, Offers and requests, Washington Square Park, Weirdness

You’re No JonBenet, Sister

Girl: Am I the cutest?
Guy: Maybe…are we including dead people?

–143rd & Broadway

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on August 6, 2015
Beauty, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Death, Girlfriends, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Weirdness

Just Ask Dave Thomas

Teen girl: Why are we here? Why can’t we just go to McDonalds?
Teen guy: This is much better, trust me.
Teen girl: But I know what I like at McDonalds.
Teen guy: But this is much better quality than McDonalds. This is good for you, it’s healthy.

–Wendy’s, Castle Hill

Overheard by: Stef

Posted on August 4, 2015
Boyfriends, Diet/Weight, Girlfriends, Restaurants & Cafes

Plus, It Would Be a Good Way to Keep Her Weight Down

Boyfriend: I've got it. A giant human hamster ball.
Girlfriend: You are not putting our daughter in a hamster ball to keep her away from weird men.
Boyfriend: But you have to admit it's better than the idea of a leash or the electric fence.

–81st & York

Posted on July 13, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girlfriends, Paranoia, Parents, Upper East Side, Weirdness

Further Evidence That Men Will Say Anything to Get Laid

Woman to boyfriend: You're so right, that man's a liar and a thief! How fucking dare he!
Boyfriend: How dare he, indeed! Now lemme tell ya: if he do it again, shit, I don't even fuckin' care! I'll cut his fuckin' kidneys out! In full view of da NYPD–I don't give a shit. In fact, I want them to see me and convict me!

–L Train

Overheard by: Stephen