Four-year old girl: Everyone can lay on me!
Four-year old boy: Oh, how lovely!
–Wave Hill, Bronx
Four-year old girl: Everyone can lay on me!
Four-year old boy: Oh, how lovely!
–Wave Hill, Bronx
Curly-haired boy: This is not the Empire State Building!
Girl in yellow pants: It clearly says it is on the building. They're just remodeling the top.
Curly-haired boy: No, they're just advertising for the Empire State Building. This is not it.
Girl in yellow pants: I'll go ask the security guard.
(girl leaves with another boy, comes back)
Girl in yellow pants: There, even he said it is the Empire State.
Curly-haired boy: You saw how he laughed at you when you asked. He was tricking you.
–In front of Empire State Building
Overheard by: thereyo
Hipster boy: I would rather go on vacation than have health insurance.
Hipster girl: Health insurance is like, totally a scam and not real anyway. Not like Belgium.
Hipster boy: Belgium!
–K&M Bar, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Matthew K. Johnson
(a little black boy is skipping away from his group)
Middle aged black lady: Yeah, you skip Cosmo!
Nerdy 13-year-old white boy: Yeah, skip to your own fuckin' loo, motherfucker!
–6th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Teenage boy: So we get to New York, right? And I look at the sign, and it says in big letters: “Welcome to New York, home of the blah blah.”
Teenage girl: “Blah blah”?
Teenage boy: Well, I really think it said: “Home of Free Shipping,” which would be totally kick-ass because I really want free shipping. I mean, it's like sixty bucks to ship stuff these days!
–Penn Station
Boy on class trip #1: Look! The hall of Asian mammals!
Boy on class trip #2: Since when are there mammals in Asia?
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Amanda
Man on cell: Do you have any (quieter and mumbled) bagms? (pause, more intense) Do you have any (mumbled)? (one word at a time) Weed! Weed! Do you have any weeeed? (pause) No? Nothing? Well you're not much of a drug dealer then, are you?
–77th St & 3rd Ave, Bay Ridge, Brooklyn
Overheard by: fet
Hipster: …becoming a teacher and then getting arrested for marijuana possession in South Korea.
–L Train
Overheard by: paola
Boy running by: They're playing frisbee! I have to roll a joint!
–Pratt Institute
Teenage girl to guy with long hair and long beard in a tie-dye shirt: You look like you could be some kind of famous stoner.
–L Train
Mother to seven-year-old son (angrily): Don't you ever tell anyone else at school that I smoke marijuana! I'll go to jail and you'll be dead! (suddenly calm) It is, however, something I personally believe people should have a right to do.
–M102 Bus
15-year-old girl to little brother: Do you understand? This is not a joke. If you smear poop on my computer, I will shit in your bed every day for the next two weeks.
Little brother: Yes, I'm sorry.
–Central Park Bench
Girl: Did you use a condom?
Boy: Nope.
Girl: You’re going to get an STD!
Boy: No, I'm not. It's okay.
Girl: That's what you said last time!
–Union Square
Emo kid: Dude, have you seen Alvin and the Chipmunks yet?
Big black guy: No, not yet.
Emo kid: It was off the hook!
Big black guy: Really?!
–Starbucks, Port Authority
