Girl #1: Those are like really nice cars.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. They're like Toyotas, right?
Girl #1: No.
–Mercedes-Benz Showroom, Park Ave
Overheard by: Lydia
Girl #1: Those are like really nice cars.
Girl #2: Oh, yeah. They're like Toyotas, right?
Girl #1: No.
–Mercedes-Benz Showroom, Park Ave
Overheard by: Lydia
Man #1: Nice beard. You look like Santa!
Man #2, gesturing to his jacket: Santa? Does Santa drive a Harley too?
–72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Natasha
Guy to girl: Yeah, the reason I never wanted to drive drunk in high school is cause I didn't want to scratch my car.
Girl: Well, that's shouldn't be the only reason!
Guy: Oh, for sure–but it was a pretty sweet ride.
–62nd St & Lexington
Guy #1: Yeah, and then he broke my car.
Guy #2: I guess there had to be a break in the monotony.
Guy #1: Never speak again, Vince.
–Union Square
Overheard by: …
Woman on cell: Yeah, today's his wedding. I thought about driving seven hours through the snowstorm to go, but then I realized that it's his third wedding, he has two kids, and he's marrying some woman who's pregnant and married to someone else, so I decided to fuck that shit and stay in the city.
–6th Ave & Bleecker St
Overheard by: office peon
30-something guy on cell: Your dad told you, your brother told you, I told you… Not to get married.
–Upper West Side
Woman: We may or may not still be married. I mean, I signed the papers but I don't know if they were ever filed.
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Woman screaming at embarrassed guy: We have to figure this out! You can't be married to two women at once!
–Chambers & Broadway
Overheard by: Jack
Out-of-town teen hipster: I like wish one of those cars could take a picture of us crossing, so it'd be like Abbey Road…
Friend: But this isn't Abbey Road, there's only three of us, and we're in the States.
Out-of-town teen hipster: So?
Friend: So it'd just be a picture of us crossing some random street!
–Bowery & Bleecker
Hobo: Hey, there's your cab right there!
(suit opens cab door)
Hobo: Hey, don't forget the tip! I pointed the cab out!
Suit: Yeah, the one I was already walking towards. Don't think so.
Hobo: Come on man, help a brother out.
Suit: Sorry, I don't have any singles.
Hobo: Come on papa, how's about a ten spot? I don't drink, I don't do drugs…
Suit: Well, maybe you should. (gets in cab)
–18th St & Park Ave
Overheard by: SandmanEsq
Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
–84th & 3rd
Overheard by: Laura
Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!
–Times Square
Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.
–111th St & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Ladle
Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.
–West End & 77th St
Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?
–University Place
Woman #1: Ooooooooh girl, look at that Escalade!
Woman #2: You ever been in a Escalade?
Woman #1: No. But I've been in a Navigator.
–South Bronx
Overheard by: whitelawyerinthesouthbronx
Boy on street with basketball to car honking horn non-stop: Shut up!
Girl walking by: Well done! I love New York.
–Flushing, Queens
