Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.
–G train
Father: Do you want some juice now? Want juice?
Two-year-old boy: Be patient.
–G train
Dude #1: You know how I know you’re gay?
Dude #2, wearily: Because I love Connecticut.
Dude #1: What a fucking horrible place!
–Clinton & Myrtle, Clinton Hill, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JP
Man: Oh, your dog is so cute. Is that a Yorkie?
Woman: Oh, yeah, it is. His name is Lucky. I’ve had him for a looong time.
Crazy man nearby: Lucky… I stabbed a guy named Lucky 20 years ago. Not so lucky.
–1 train
Overheard by: andy
Loser: You know what’s funny? I’m actually more creative when I have thumbnails.
Artist (overhearing him, under her breath): Then you’re not that creative.
–Holiday Markets, Union Square
Teen subway dancer: Why you opening your mouth? No one’s talking to you.
Kid subway dancer: That’s why I got a mouth. So I can talk.
Teen subway dancer: I don’t like nosey niggers.
Kid subway dancer: At least I don’t sleep outside!
–D Train
Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up.
–29th & Park
Gay man #1: You should stop doing coke and just do ecstasy, because the coke makes you a shady bitch.
Gay man #2: Are you on coke right now?
–East Village
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Woman: Yeah…and I told my mother, “Sorry, but you can’t abort a 28-year-old fetus.”
–1/9 Train
Overheard by: Stephanie
Short Asian man to tall black man: You play basketball?
Tall black man: You fix computers?
–Starbucks
Woman, as train stops: Mmm-mm… Excuse you!
Younger man: Huh?
Woman: You cut in front of me.
Younger man: How did I cut in front of you? You get up, and the people closer to the door go first. Like on a plane.
Woman: You cut in front of me, and a gentleman never cuts in front of a lady.
Younger man: Right. And a lady doesn't go “mmm-mm… Excuse you!”
–Grand Central Platform
