Mom (to young girl banging on subway seat): Stop that, quiet.
Young girl: What'cha gonna do, open up a can of whoop-ass on me?
Mom: Girl, what did you say? Where did you learn that?
Young girl: You always say it to daddy.
–2 Train
Mom (to young girl banging on subway seat): Stop that, quiet.
Young girl: What'cha gonna do, open up a can of whoop-ass on me?
Mom: Girl, what did you say? Where did you learn that?
Young girl: You always say it to daddy.
–2 Train
Girl: I hate clowns.
Clown guy: We hate you too.
–Church Avenue F station
Overheard by: sarah
Guy: My dad doesn't drink any more.
Friend: Yeah, he just does acid.
Guy: Tons.
–D Train
(possessed girl walks on hands downstairs during midnight showing of The Excorcist)
Awkward guy to chick he's with: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
(she doesn't respond)
Awkward guy, again: Haha, I almost pissed myself!
Drunk dude: We heard you the first time, buddy!
–Loew Village Theater
Promoter: Are you ladies interested in a comedy show tonight?
Girl: Not tonight.
Promoter: Ya know, that's called “bipolar.” They have pills for that.
–Times Square
Woman: He’s not getting a new cell phone until the technology improves.
Man: Oh yeah, well I’m not commuting to work anymore until I get my flying car!
–Public Theater, Lafayette Street
Overheard by: Sean McArdle
Teacher, guiding field trip: Don’t you look cute today, April?! I love your dress. I wish I could wear one like it.
Kindergarten girl: Maybe if you lost some weight, you could.
–L train
Teen girl in cross-colors #1: That's the thing about gay dudes! They have the best comebacks!
Teen girl in cross-colors #2: I know!
–Flatbush Ave & St. Mark's Place
Overheard by: Eric S
Drunk: Come on! Just come upstairs with me!
Mistress: No way! Not this time; go home to your wife.
Drunk: But my wife’s not home!
–Battery Park City
Woman: Ooh, where are you taking them?
Dogwalking guy: To pee on your leg.
–21st between 2nd & 3rd
