Woman: Thank god it’s Friday!
Subway janitor: Actually, Friday is my Monday.
Woman: [Thinks for a while.] Well, how was your weekend?
–6 Train Station
Woman: Thank god it’s Friday!
Subway janitor: Actually, Friday is my Monday.
Woman: [Thinks for a while.] Well, how was your weekend?
–6 Train Station
Eight-year-old-girl: What is aged cheese?
Dad: You age cheese to make it better.
Eight-year-old-girl: You do?
Dad: Like whiskey.
Eight-year-old-girl: Ahhhh, I see.
–Starbucks, 9th & 2nd
Guy: I hate people honking on their horns in still traffic. It never helps anyone.
Girl: Until I get a bumper sticker that says “Keep honking, it only makes my penis bigger.”
Guy: … And that’s my cue to go.
–1 Train
Woman #1: I really have to pee!
Woman #2: My god! Again? You have the tiniest bladder!
Woman #3: You know what they say about a tiny bladder?
Women #1 and #2: What?
Woman #3: Huge vagina!
–Olea, Forte Green, Brooklyn
Man: I noticed you’re reading The Kite Runner. How is it, if you don’t mind my asking?
Woman: Why would I mind if you ask me how the book is? You’re just trying to sound extra polite, and it’s annoying. Are you from the Midwest?
Man: Actually, I’m from Pennsylvania.
Woman: Even worse.
–F Train
Overheard by: nathaneast
Professor: Wow, you looked so tough! Like Michael Jackson in “Beat it”!
Male student: … That wasn’t tough.
Professor: Exactly!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Loli/Angie
Mother: Are you still drunk?
Daughter: I wasn’t drunk yesterday!
–71st St & Broadway, Queens
College meathead #1: You don’t think generally the size of the person is the size of the dick?
College meathead #2: Nah, I mean how could you prove that?
College meathead #3: Dude, why do you think babies’ dicks are so small?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: sromeo
Woman: Okay, follow me.
Man: I would follow you to the ends of… Um…
Woman: The earth?
Man: Uh, not that far.
–44th & Madison
Overheard by: donz
Party girl #1: My hands have always been the biggest of the group.
Party girl #2: Yea… So?
Party girl #1: If I had a wiener it would be huge.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Rich
