Girl: Why do I have to die, why can’t you die?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well…that’s not fair.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Joe
Girl: Why do I have to die, why can’t you die?
Guy: No.
Girl: Well…that’s not fair.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Joe
HS girl #1: I saw on TV last night they were saying how you can bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Uh, how dead?
HS girl #1: Like Hitler…
HS girl #3: That’s crazy. I read the Bible. You can not bring people back from the dead.
HS girl #2: Fool, they brought Jesus back from the dead.
–Health Opportunities High School, South Bronx
Guy: I don’t want to visit my miserable family unless it’s for a funeral.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Incident on 33rd St.
Guy #1: Remember that time last week when I like fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Huh?
Guy #1: When I fucking killed Frank?
Guy #2: Who?
Guy #1: Frank.
Guy #2: Oh, ha, ha! Priceless.
–Columbia University
Woman: It’s going to be a 20 minute wait.
Man: Why don’t you go use the restrooms now?
Woman: It’s okay, I can wait 20 minutes.
Man: If you shit your pants in public again, I’m going to fucking kill
you.
–Veselka, 2nd Avenue
Professor guy: And who was Sadat?
Chick: Leader of Egypt?
Professor: And what was he doing in 1981?
Chick: Being assassinated?
–Columbia University
Speaker: Hello?
Guy: We’ve been waiting for like an hour. Any trains coming?
Speaker: Hold on, let me see…Hello, anyone there?
Guy: Yeah, we’re here. There any trains coming?
Speaker: There’s an police investigation at Broadway. I think someone got pushed onto the tracks and run over.
Guy: But are there any trains coming?
–2nd Avenue station
Overheard by: Mikey J.
Girl #1: My brother’s started taking marijuana and I’m worried cause he’s only 17.
Girl #2: I’m so anti-drugs because my dad’s brother died of a drug overdose.
Girl #1: Was it a marijuana overdose?
–Columbia University
Girl #1: Oh no, I can feel my pulse in my neck!
Girl #2: You can always feel your pulse in your neck, douchebag.
Girl #1: No, but it’s, like, really strong.
–Washington Square Park
Bag lady: I have osteoporosis.
Hobo: Ostoprognosis? Is that serious?
Bag lady: Well, I might die from it. It makes you boneless. I have no bones. Like a Perdue chicken.
Hobo: So it turns you into a skeleton!
–2 train
Guy: I wish I could turn my fat into gold.
–18th & 5th
Overheard by: basselope
Old cashier lady: Sixteen years ago they gave me 72 hours to live. I only have three arteries in my heart.
Old customer lady: How many are you supposed to have?
Old cashier lady: Four.
Old customer lady: Oh. That’s not that bad…
–Stop and Shop, Astoria
Overheard by: Dan
Man: Oh my God, it’s sold out. What do we do?
Woman: I don’t know. Suicide?
–Film Forum, Houston Street
