Diet/Weight

Man: I’m trying to work out to drop some weight.
Lady: Yeah, my girlfriend and I been goin’ to the gym to make our booties clap.
Man: Aw, yeah?
Lady: You know, makin’ em clap, gettin’ ’em right.
Man: Yeah, like, I seen this girl on TV — I think her name is Tastee…
Lady: That girl from Flavor of Love?
Man: No, not Toastee — like, a real girl, named Tastee. Her booty makes a sound like [claps his hands loudly three times]. It, like, smacks itself.
Lady: Damn.

–Rite Aid, Grand & Clinton

Overheard by: Beth P.

30-ish man: I’m getting fat and going bald. These are the number one and number two things that men fear.
30-ish lady: What about impotence and gay?
30-ish man: Okay, then — numbers three and four.

–70th & Broadway

30-ish lady: So, Laura isn’t really comfortable with her body, and let me tell you — she shouldn’t be! I mean, I’ve never been small, but she is just sloppy chubby, you know?
30-ish friend: Ouch! But yeah, I see what you mean.

–Bleecker & Lafayette

Puking girl: At least I’m getting rid of calories.
Friend helping her: That’s right.
Puking girl: And I don’t like calories.

–Pier 60, Chelsea Piers

Overheard by: gleebster

Father: Can we just go to McDonald’s for dinner?
Little girl: Dad! You know I can’t have trans-fat.

–Queens-bound 7 train

Overheard by: Patricia

Flabby hipster #1: She had that anorexic fuzz on her neck.
Flabby hipster #2: Ew!
Flabby hipster #3: No, that’s bulimic fuzz.
Flabby hipster #1: It’s for both.
Flabby hipster #2: That is gross. You would think that having that fuzz would be some incentive to eat.

–F train

Thug #1: I don’t know what happened — I bought her a shot!
Thug #2: Yo, you can’t be buyin’ shots for fat chicks — they be drinkin’ ’em anyway.

–W 4th, outside Down the Hatch

Overheard by: NCS

Biotech #1: I hate fat people.
Biotech #2: Yeah, me, too. They should put them all in a concentration camp.

–Astor Pl & Broadway

Overheard by: Daniel

White nerd in monotone: Look, just because I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P does not give you the right to kiss up on my women.
Black guy: Fool, don’t be trippin’! You ain’t got but one woman, and she’s fat.

–45th & 9th

Jessie: Tammy, do you think I’m fat? [Silence.] Tammy!
Tammy: What?
Jessie: Do you think I got fat?
Tammy: … Honestly, Jessie, every guy I have hooked up with says he doesn’t like skinny girls.

–Bathroom, Town Tavern, W 3rd & 6th

Overheard by: Flanked In Stalls, St Patty’s genius