Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!
–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th
Overheard by: Jackie Lee
Giggling drunk girl #1: Look! Someone spilled Kool-Aid all over that seat! Or at least I hope it's Kool-Aid.
Giggling drunk girl #2: It very well could be Hawaiian Punch.
Giggling drunk girl #1: I don't even want to know what happened if it was Hawaiian Punch!
–F Train
Guy: So she invited me in and I had a beer.
Girl: You had a beer?! What?!
Guy: Yeah, I had a beer.
Girl: Oh my god! That is so weird!
Guy: Well, I mean, I didn’t have my own. So I had a beer and then we rehearsed.
Girl: Oh my god. I can’t believe you had a beer and then rehearsed! That is so weird!
–Waverly Place & Broadway
Overheard by: Sam
Little Jewish girl: Where's my brother? Does daddy know where he is?
Jewish mother: Sweetie, your daddy went to get a latte while mommy was giving birth to your brother, that shows how much he cares.
–Riverside Park
Overheard by: Leigh
Guy to girl: All I know about your baby is that as long as it's in your stomach, it's not gonna be underfed. I wouldn't be surprised if it came out with a chicken wing in its mouth.
–MacDougal & 3rd St
Overheard by: Jaco
Older hipster man, in front of organic section: So these eggs are tortured chicks, and these are non-tortured chicks… Hmmm…
–Fairmay Market, Red Hook
Overheard by: RStein
Black guy: Yo, black guy! Where is the nearest place I can get fried chicken? I want some fried chicken and grape soda!
–Union Square
Random guy on escalator: Fuck anime, I can't wait for that juicy buffalo chicken sandwich.
–Kinokuniya Bookstore
Overheard by: Chris Coll
Guy: Awww, man, did you hear? Billy's in the hospital!
Girl: Oh no! What happened?
Guy: He only ate bananas and pop for like two weeks straight.
Girl: Shit, that sucks. Poor Billy!
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Suit: So, you wanna bring the strippers to paintball?
–45th St & Ave of the Americas
Suit: They are not stupid people, even though they are from the Midwest.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: MJ
Suit: We’re meeting in conference room G, but there’s still blood in there from the last meeting.
–53rd & Park
Overheard by: Russo
Suit whispering baby talk into another’s ear: Freddie, wash my butthole.
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Late-50s suit to another: My next-door neighbors, they don’t know how to communicate with their Mexicans.
–N & R platform, 49th St
Overheard by: Wish I could have heard more
Suit to another: I don’t care what they say — once a french maid, always a french maid.
–Rockefeller Center
Suit on cell: If it wasn’t for goat’s milk I don’t know how I would’ve made it through college.
–45th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: y2jon
Girl #1: Did you know that if you lick the wrapper of Big Red it'll stick to your forehead?
Girl #2: I learned about pineapple yesterday.
–Theater
Loud mother: So that's what this is about? Really?
Unhappy young son: (looks down, says nothing)
Loud mother: Really? That's what this is all about? An orange drink! This is all because of an orange drink?
Unhappy son: (looks down, says something barely audible)
Loud mother: I'm overreacting? You think I'm the one who is overreacting??
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
