Eating Out

Southern woman on phone: You can’t threaten me with jail! Three hots and a cot, I ain’t nobody’s momma, and I ain’t nobody’s wife! And I ain’t above eating pussy!

–A train

Old man #1: Man, that’s nasty.
Old man #2: Why do you say that? You don’t like to orally please your woman?
Old man #1: Man, I am afraid of getting AIDS in my teeth.

–51st & 5th

Woman #1: I thought you loved me — didn’t last night mean anything to you?
Woman #2: I do love you, that’s why I let you swallow my babies.

–43rd & 8th

Overheard by: Elan

Guy #1: Dude, I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Okay.
Guy #1: I really want some crab salad. It’s only five forty-nine per pound here! I think Im going to get a pound. I really want crab salad.
Guy #2: Dude, why don’t you just eat out Ada?

–Deli, Broadway between 10th & 11th

Overheard by: tina t lin

Voice over speaker phone: Bitch, I tol’ you stay away! I tol’ you back off! Bitch!
Girl, very calmly: That kinda attitude is why your man is eatin’ my pussy.

–Washington & Lafayette, Clinton Hill

Overheard by: nmf

Girl #1: He has no idea how good this pussy is.
Girl #2: He’s just taking your pussy for granted. You know what you need?
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: A new booty call.
Girl #1: I don’t have time for a new booty call. He just needs to learn how good my pussy is.

–The Riviera ladies’ room, W. 4th Street

Overheard by: Lela Justin

Teen boy #1: I make the best scrambled eggs!
Teen boy #2: Nah son, I make the best eggs.
Teen boy #1: Ok, but when you eat my eggs… mmm… it’s like eating pussy.
Teen boy #2: Whoa! You crossed the line there.

–97th & Central Park W

Overheard by: SEK

Suit #1: The smell, the feel, sometimes you just gotta stick your nose in a pussy.
Suit #2: Seriously, man.

–46th & 5th

Overheard by: Amused Suit

Guy: I’m crazy about her! Every time I go down on her, her pussy tastes like hummus!

–East Village

Overheard by: Nicole Weber

Ghetto girl #1 looking at lingerie: Who has the time, really?
Ghetto girl #2: Oh, girl, I do! Hello! You can lick me outta this, you ain't even gotta take it off.


Overheard by: Brooke