Eating Out

Woman: Actually, now that I think about it, I guess I’ve had sex in both of the Sheratons.

–53rd & 7th

Overheard by: Erich Pelletier

Teenage Spanish girls: Mister, mister! Where'd you get that belt?
Guy: (mumbles)
Girl #1: You know that's the gay belt, right? That belt is gay, yo.
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #2: Yeah, that's the gay belt. You better take that shit off! Are you gay?
Guy: (shakes head)
Girl #1: Then take that shit off man! You can't have a gay belt. What store did you get it at? Didn't they tell you when you bought it? Mister, you better return that shit to the store!
Girl #3: Maybe he's bi. Hey mister, it's okay if you're bi. I mean, I like eating pussy.

–Uptown N Train

Overheard by: Jeff

Early-20’s girl #1: Well, how’s the sex?
Early-20’s girl #2: [Mumbling.]Early-20’s girl #1: Hmmm, but oral sex? Is he good at that? I hear guys are very bad at giving oral sex.

–Häagen-Dazs, Park Slope

Teen girl #1: He wanted to eat me out.
Teen girl #2: Really?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he was like, “Bend over,” and I was like, “No.”

–1 train

Musician: See, that’s why I don’t drink. So I can fuck any time.

–26th between 6th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mike

Guy: Where can I go to make it look like I went home last night?

–56th & 9th

Overheard by: David

Ghetto chick: …and it’s not like I’m calling him a transsexual, but he gave oral like a starving lesbian.

–58th & 5th

Overheard by: Melissa

Young woman #1: Guys never want to eat me out.
Middle-aged dad with kids: Hey, we’re trying to eat over here.
Young woman #1: See, even hearing about it freaks them out.
Young man at next table: Maybe I can take a look for you and give you my assessment.
Middle-aged dad with kids: For God’s sake, this is a family restaurant!
Young woman #2: You have a very controversial vagina.

–Mickey D’s, Times Square

Hipster boy: We used to be together, but it just didn’t work out.
Hipster girl: It wasn’t because of her eating out America?

–1 train

Overheard by: Shannon O’Toole

Lady #1: I don’t care what anyone thinks!
Lady #2: Yeah!
Lady #1: I like watermelon!
Lady #2: I hear ya! We can eat whatever we want!

–Central Park

Overheard by: ashley

Woman #1: You have to thank Brian for these photos for us.
Woman #2: Don’t worry, I’ll just sit on his face.

–Q train