Soylent Green Is Wednesday One-Liners!

Girl on cell: So I told her I didn’t think George Washington was a cannibal.

–Barnes & Noble, Staten Island

Overheard by: Marina Tricorico

Asian girl to friend: You know, if he really likes you, he’d eat you.

–Coles Sports Center

Overheard by: Alice Huang

Hysterical woman screaming at cops: She bit me! I did not touch her!

–84th & Broadway

Overheard by: rachel

Dude: Remember that crazy condo lady? She totally ate my ass on the first date.

–Chelsea

20-something guy on cell: have you ever tasted pee before?! Word?!

–Spring & W Broadway

Three-year-old girl: Daddy, I’m eating your eyeballs!

–R Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Posted on April 24, 2022
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Eating Out, Friends, Girls, Guys, History & Geography, Kids, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, Pee, Staten Island, Store, The Village, Threats, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Women, Words

She Mixed It Into His Corn Flakes

Woman #1: … So his mom taught him.
Woman #2: His mother taught him.
Woman #1: Yeah.
Woman #2: To eat pussy?
Woman #1: Yeah.
Woman #2: That’s disgusting!
Woman #1: He’s really good at it, though.

–D train

Posted on April 13, 2022
Eating Out, On the Subway, Parents, Sex, Sex & Relationships

According to My Life-Coach

Black guy: You know what I need to do? I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train. I got head three times on the train already.
Girlfriend: Shhh!
Black guy: That’s what I need to do. I need to eat yo’ pussy on the train.

–F train

Overheard by: Jofo

Posted on October 22, 2021
Couples, Eating Out, On the Subway

NY’s Free Papers: When the New York Post is Just Too Classy

AM New York guy: Man, it’s like I was tryin’ to say–
Metro New York guy: Nah, tell Shorty he needs to eat that pussy.

–Hanson Place & Atlantic Avenue, Fort Greene

Overheard by: Frank Smith

Posted on May 18, 2021
Brooklyn, Eating Out, Guys, Vagina

Wednesday One-Liners with Two Percent Body Fat

Hipster girl to another: Yeah, everyone has a crush on him, but he’s got halitosis. And a concave chest!

–MoMA

Hipster chick to friend: Whoa. I just felt totally suffocated by capitalist society.

–NYU

Hipster in rainbow moonboots: So I say to this girl as I’m roofie-ing her juice box…

–Union Square

Overheard by: eliza

Hipster chick on cell: Hello? Hey! Guess what? I found my underwear!

–1st Ave

Overheard by: Aria Grillo

Hipster: I mean, you can’t just rock a sombrero and think that it’s cool.

–6th & 10th

Overheard by: El

Hipster chick to tourist friends: … And across the street is where Albert Greenberg lived for a while.

–E 2nd St, across street from Allen Ginsberg’s former walkup

Overheard by: midtown_strangler

Hipster chick: I wanna create a website: Nine-Eleven — get over it.

–4 train

Overheard by: Hurtz donit

Posted on September 6, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Body Parts, Clothing, Eating Out, Health and Hygiene, Internet, Names, Politics, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Her Parents Will Be Pleased

Dude #1: So that new girl is pretty hot.
Dude #2: I’d like to kiss her vagina. Closed mouth ’cause i’m respectful like that.

–6 train

Posted on June 19, 2019
Beauty, Eating Out, Friends, On the Subway

I Miss More Than I Catch

Hipster girl #1: Wow, how did you get your hair that kind of texture? Looks great.
Hipster girl #2: … Oral sex.

–Bedford Ave platform

Posted on March 5, 2019
Eating Out, Hair, Hipsters, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

“Yeah, I like to eat out every once in a while.”

Coffee guy: Good morning, sir.
Sir: Medium coffee.
Coffee guy: Milk and sugar, sir?
Sir: Yes, please.
Coffee guy: …you go down, sir?
Sir: Excuse me?
Coffee guy: You go down? Down the town?

–Roach coach, Franklin & Church

Overheard by: Bailey Wier

Posted on February 23, 2019
Customers, Eating Out, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Waiters, Words

Just Tell Him No Dessert

30-ish woman #1: So he’s never went down on you — no big deal. Young guys are like that.
30-ish woman #2: But he’s twelve…

–Times Square

Posted on December 11, 2018
Age/Aging, Default, Eating Out, Times Square, Women

Hey, Kiss My Wednesday One-Liners

Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!

–8th Ave & W 55th St

Overheard by: Fred Daubert

Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.

–Uptown 6 train

Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.

–NYU

Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds

Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?

–43rd & Lex

Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.

–Washington Heights

Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!

–115th St & Manhattan Ave

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Posted on November 11, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Canadians, College, Dancing, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Eating Out, Fighting and ass kicking, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Health and Hygiene, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Manhattan, Marriage, Menstruation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, People, Pick-up Lines, Places, Private Parts, School, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Topics, Vagina

Eating Out