Won’t Somebody Please Think of the Wednesday One-Liners?

Little boy: But I was really excited for her to get a hernia!

–35th & 6th

Overheard by: alix

Eleven-year-old boy, to classmate that he just hit with a ball representing "responsibility": Oooooooo!!! You just got pounded in the face with responsibility!!!

–Bushwick, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Their Proud Counselor

Ten-year-old girl, about figures: Why do they all have to be boys?

–Bodies: The Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Overheard by: Robert

Young child crossing the street while holding his mothers hand: [Singing] Please… Don’t… Enter me.

–70th St & Columbus

Little boy: It’s not illegal to jiggle.

–6th & 17th

Preschooler to daddy: Can I get that three hundred dollars now?

–UES

Posted on April 30, 2008
All Wednesday One-Liners, Boys, Brooklyn, Education, Friendship, Gender issues, Girls, Illness, Kids, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Questions, Singing, Tweens, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Weirdness, Words

“Rapid I Movement” Is Otherwise Known As Narcissism

Professor: So REM stands for “Rapid Eye Movement”.
Befuddled girl: Then why isn’t it called “RIM”?

–Psychology Lecture, City College

Posted on April 29, 2008
Default, Education, Girls, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers/Professors, Words

You Can Watch Them in Their Natural Habitat

Little black boy in school group: Why are there all white people here? Is this a white people place, Miss Hannah?
Teacher: Well…

–Museum of Natural History

Posted on April 28, 2008
Black People, Boys, Default, Education, Kids, Museum of Natural History, Questions, Race, Teachers/Professors

And Never Ride the Subway

Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: How many Ts in frottage?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Frottage? What’s that?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: It’s when you rub against someone in a crowd, sexually. Like dry humping.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Oh yeeeeah, I knew that. Jeez, I haven’t heard that word since that Psychology of Sex class I took a few years ago.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1, enthusiastically: That’s because you don’t read enough slash!

–Starbucks, 2nd & 9th

Posted on April 25, 2008
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Education, Friends, Questions, Starbucks, Time, Union Square and East Village, Words

Or Perhaps That’s After I Cut You and Take Your Wallet

Psychic: So, what’s your major?
Girl: Biomedical engineering.
Psychic, thinking hard: I see you… Working in the medical field… With doctors and nurses perhaps…

–The Village

Overheard by: Wow, she was onto something…

Posted on April 22, 2008
Default, Education, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Psychic, Questions, The Village, Vendors & Street Performers

So, Partial Credit

Professor: So your answer is “Yes”?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Ok. Well, let me tell you that the shorter and more accurate answer is “No”.

–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU

Overheard by: don cheetah

Posted on April 20, 2008
Default, Education, NYU, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Words

You Know Those Girls Who Just Make Shit Up About People?

Young girl playing with blocks at a doctor’s waiting room: And my teacher is mad gay. Mad gay.
Mother: Why do you say that?
Young girl: He just is. And like, whatever. I don’t care about gay people, but like I don’t want a gay teacher. And what’s even worse: He’s a virgin.
Mother: Lot’s of people are virgins, sweetie.
Young girl: Whatever, that’s just pathetic.

–Coney Island Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on April 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Education, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Kids, Moms, Street, Virginity

Another Fucking Book-Reader

Professor #1: Some fucking student requested we read the book in the class.
Professor #2: That’s mad twisted, yo.

–Barnes & Noble, Court and Schermerhorn, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on April 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Coworkers, Education, Offers and requests, Store, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

No, Ma’am, It Certainly Is Not

5th grader on school trip on train: I wanna sit down!
Teacher, in southern accent: Well I want a small ass but thats not happening either now is it?!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Brandon E.

Posted on April 19, 2008
Ass, Default, Diet/Weight, Education, Etiquette, Kids, On the Subway, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Guess We’re Not Eating Today, Huh?

Six-year-old boy: I’m excited! Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Father: How do you spell “pizza”?
Six-year-old boy: P…I… Z… Z… O?
Father: Close, son. Try again.
Six-year-old boy: F?
Father: No…
Six-year-old boy: Q? G? L? [starting to cry.] I just don’t know!

–110th & Broadway

Posted on April 11, 2008
Boys, Crying, Dads, Education, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

Education