And Never Ride the Subway

Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: How many Ts in frottage?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Frottage? What’s that?
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1: It’s when you rub against someone in a crowd, sexually. Like dry humping.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #2: Oh yeeeeah, I knew that. Jeez, I haven’t heard that word since that Psychology of Sex class I took a few years ago.
Cute nerd girl playing Scrabble #1, enthusiastically: That’s because you don’t read enough slash!

–Starbucks, 2nd & 9th

Posted on April 25, 2008
Books & Writing, Compare/Contrast, Default, Dorks, Geeks and Nerds, Education, Friends, Questions, Starbucks, Time, Union Square and East Village, Words

Or Perhaps That’s After I Cut You and Take Your Wallet

Psychic: So, what’s your major?
Girl: Biomedical engineering.
Psychic, thinking hard: I see you… Working in the medical field… With doctors and nurses perhaps…

–The Village

Overheard by: Wow, she was onto something…

Posted on April 22, 2008
Default, Education, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Psychic, Questions, The Village, Vendors & Street Performers

So, Partial Credit

Professor: So your answer is “Yes”?
Student: Yes.
Professor: Ok. Well, let me tell you that the shorter and more accurate answer is “No”.

–Vanderbilt Hall, NYU

Overheard by: don cheetah

Posted on April 20, 2008
Default, Education, NYU, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, Words

You Know Those Girls Who Just Make Shit Up About People?

Young girl playing with blocks at a doctor’s waiting room: And my teacher is mad gay. Mad gay.
Mother: Why do you say that?
Young girl: He just is. And like, whatever. I don’t care about gay people, but like I don’t want a gay teacher. And what’s even worse: He’s a virgin.
Mother: Lot’s of people are virgins, sweetie.
Young girl: Whatever, that’s just pathetic.

–Coney Island Ave, Brooklyn

Posted on April 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Default, Education, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Insults, Kids, Moms, Street, Virginity

Another Fucking Book-Reader

Professor #1: Some fucking student requested we read the book in the class.
Professor #2: That’s mad twisted, yo.

–Barnes & Noble, Court and Schermerhorn, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on April 20, 2008
Brooklyn, Coworkers, Education, Offers and requests, Store, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness

No, Ma’am, It Certainly Is Not

5th grader on school trip on train: I wanna sit down!
Teacher, in southern accent: Well I want a small ass but thats not happening either now is it?!

–4 Train

Overheard by: Brandon E.

Posted on April 19, 2008
Ass, Default, Diet/Weight, Education, Etiquette, Kids, On the Subway, Students, Teachers/Professors, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Guess We’re Not Eating Today, Huh?

Six-year-old boy: I’m excited! Pizza, pizza, pizza!
Father: How do you spell “pizza”?
Six-year-old boy: P…I… Z… Z… O?
Father: Close, son. Try again.
Six-year-old boy: F?
Father: No…
Six-year-old boy: Q? G? L? [starting to cry.] I just don’t know!

–110th & Broadway

Posted on April 11, 2008
Boys, Crying, Dads, Education, Kids, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

Insert “Shitty Education” Joke

Young guy to his friend: As least if she’s got diarrhea, I won’t need the lube.
Friend: Dude. That’s gross. Like I don’t want to talk about this anymore.
Guy: Well I mean it sounds gross and if you get past the smell, it’s pretty kick ass. Awesome texture man!
Friend: You’ve done this before?!
Guy: The first time, I didn’t want to. But afterwards, I was thinking of sneaking her laxatives cuz it was so rad. But dude! I lucked out, she has digestive issues!
Friend: What the hell did NYU do to you?

–F Train

Posted on April 7, 2008
Backdoor, Compliments, Default, Education, Friends, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Illness, Lube, Medicine, On the Subway, Poop, Questions, Weirdness

Your Editors Are Appalled by This Display of Public Decency

Girl #1: What’s a blow job?
Girl #2: [looks at her strangely then laughs] are you seriously asking that?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: We’re gonna have a long discussion later…

–231st St

Overheard by: Adrian

Posted on April 4, 2008
BJs, Default, Education, Friends, Girls, Queens, Questions

Otherwise the Movie Soundtrack Would Lag Behind the Images

Woman: Light travels faster then sound, right?
Man: I don’t think so.

–Stuyvesant Square

Posted on April 3, 2008
Default, Education, Men, Questions, Science, Stupidity, Stuyvesant Town, Women