Man: But I’m just not attracted to you. You’re like a sister to me.
Woman: But I’m not your sister. And besides, you know, me and my sister fooled around when we were little.
Man: Hmmm, let’s see. After this we could go get a drink, or I could go home and think about how much I’m not attracted to you…
Woman: I mean think about it…Hypothetical incest. Predetermined lust, undeformed children.
–Al di La, Park Slope
An art gallery has an exhibit of old record covers.
Hipster girl: People dressed so retro back in those days.
–Soho
Girl #1: Will you be my Valentine?
Girl #2: Of course!
Girl #1: Yay! Let's smear dark chocolate all over our buttocks and spank each other with peacock feathers! And suck on each others candy necklaces.
Girl #2: You're kinky.
Girl #1: You know it.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: kinkyvalentines
Really trendy girl #1: So do you want to go tanning after the gym?
Really trendy girl #2: Yeah, but I don’t want to get skin cancer.
Really trendy girl #1: Yeah, me neither. That’s why I wear underwear.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Just wanted some starbucks
Gangster on cell: Fuck you, I’m gettin my nails done if I want to.
Columbia student: Vanity is the extrovert’s insecurity.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hobo
Guy #1: Dude, I was rockin’ pink American Apparel briefs and brown pants and pink and brown-striped socks when I hung out with her! Chicks dig that attention to detail, man.
Guy #2: Keep it down, man! You sound like a fucking faggot.
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Overheard by: lil pirate
Stripper: The makeup lady is finally here! I need to go get my eyelashes put on, ’cause I feel naked without them.
–Tens, 21st & Park Ave South
Mother: Here you go, honey. (hands clothing to daughter in dressing room)
Daughter: A 14? Mom, I'm a size 10! I know you think I'm morbidly obese, but…
–Bay Terrace, Queens
Overheard by: tinabee
Girl #1: You never wear earrings.
Girl #2: You’re very observant.
Girl #1: But that’s why we have ears, to get them pierced.
Girl #2: No, we have ears so we can hear.
Girl #1: Wait, you make no sense.
–E 16th & Ave U, Sheepshead Bay
Girl: Damn, when my grandmother see me in this, she gone have a strizzoke!
–Filene’s Basement, Union Square
