Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Hair lady: So how do you want it done?
Grandma: I want to have the same lining and density as that cute, little Chinese girl had.
Hair lady: It was a boy.
–Encore Beauty Salon, Claremont Drive
Overheard by: Maxym B
Guy #1: I’ve been thinking about getting a fez, rocking a fez, you know?
Guy #2: Man, you’d get that shit knocked right off your head. Fucking Shriners…
Guy #3: Maybe you can get one of those little cars, too. And a monkey.
–Madison Square Park
Woman #1: She’s very weird.
Woman #2: You’re calling your daughter weird?
Woman #1: She came running into the kitchen this morning with a belt around her neck asking if it would make a good necklace.
–Penn Station
Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Man: But I’m just not attracted to you. You’re like a sister to me.
Woman: But I’m not your sister. And besides, you know, me and my sister fooled around when we were little.
Man: Hmmm, let’s see. After this we could go get a drink, or I could go home and think about how much I’m not attracted to you…
Woman: I mean think about it…Hypothetical incest. Predetermined lust, undeformed children.
–Al di La, Park Slope
An art gallery has an exhibit of old record covers.
Hipster girl: People dressed so retro back in those days.
–Soho
Girl #1: Will you be my Valentine?
Girl #2: Of course!
Girl #1: Yay! Let's smear dark chocolate all over our buttocks and spank each other with peacock feathers! And suck on each others candy necklaces.
Girl #2: You're kinky.
Girl #1: You know it.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: kinkyvalentines
Really trendy girl #1: So do you want to go tanning after the gym?
Really trendy girl #2: Yeah, but I don’t want to get skin cancer.
Really trendy girl #1: Yeah, me neither. That’s why I wear underwear.
–42nd & Lex
Overheard by: Just wanted some starbucks
Gangster on cell: Fuck you, I’m gettin my nails done if I want to.
Columbia student: Vanity is the extrovert’s insecurity.
–110th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Hobo
Guy #1: Dude, I was rockin’ pink American Apparel briefs and brown pants and pink and brown-striped socks when I hung out with her! Chicks dig that attention to detail, man.
Guy #2: Keep it down, man! You sound like a fucking faggot.
–Whole Foods, 14th St
Overheard by: lil pirate
