Waiter: I’ve got chocolate all over my pants!
–Cold Springs
Waiter: I’ve got chocolate all over my pants!
–Cold Springs
Lowlife: I hate shopping.
Yuppie: You have to love it, because we really need to avoid this look.
–W. 8th & Broadway
Overheard by: Tibbie X
Old Woman: You’re not making fun of my hat, are you? Better not be. Lots of flowers on this hat, it’s a fine hat. I love this hat. Your problem is, you got no love in you. Not for hats, not for nothing.
–McDonalds, St. Mark’s Place
A guido is wearing a black jumpsuit and hat when a middle aged woman approaches him.
Woman: Hey…cowboy hat, eh?
Guido: (tips hat) You got that right.
Woman: And is that…velour too, huh?
Guido: You bet. Only the finest.
Woman: Don’t even tell me. You wearing a g-string under that?
Guido: Actually, how did you know?
–MSG
Overheard by: Jay G
Goth Girl: …yeah, I wear his ring around my neck, and I gave him this flame pendant, cause y’know, I consider myself a fire fairy.
Pal: Oh yeah, definitely.
–NYU Cinema Class
Woman #1: I like your watch.
Woman #2: Oh, thank you. I like your face.
–PATH
Queen #1: What the fuck, girl, did you not look in the mirror before walkin' out da house? Those shoes do not match that shirt!
Queen #2, with sass: You obviously did look in the mirror, because that shirt (points at dark yellow shirt) matches your teeth perfectly.
–F Train
Girlfriend to fiance, while shaking ring off of finger: Look, my ring is getting too big again. Am I losing weight?
Fiance: You're losing weight and I'm losing interest in you.
–E 95th St
Overheard by: Sarah
Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.
–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: George O.
Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.
–Starbucks, Astor Place
Overheard by: Kade
Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?
–Elevator, 75 Wall St
Overheard by: Jonathan
Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…
–L Train
Overheard by: Bradburnside
Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?
–22nd & 6th
Overheard by: Edyna
Teen girl #1: Ugh, I hate that when you get pregnant you have to get a new belly ring.
Teen girl #2: Ugh! I know, that's why I'm not getting one yet.
–Bus Stop, Queens
