Fat guy, caught illegally parked to buy and gobble a hot dog: It’s a New York Tradition.
Cop: Move your car, or that’s going to be a hundred and fifty dollar hot dog.
–Grey’s Papaya, 8th Ave
Fat guy, caught illegally parked to buy and gobble a hot dog: It’s a New York Tradition.
Cop: Move your car, or that’s going to be a hundred and fifty dollar hot dog.
–Grey’s Papaya, 8th Ave
Big thug #1: … And I was like, ‘No fuckin’ way.’
Big thug #2: Yeah, nigga. That shit is like magic.
Big thug #1: I know, nigga. I did it. I went home and I ordered the new Harry Potter from Amazon. That shit came the next day. It was like magic.
–14th & 6th
Overheard by: h
Fat worker #1: This country is pretty fat, huh?
Fat worker #2: Yeah, man, we’re the fastest country in America.
–35th St, between 7th & 8th
Thin woman: I’m on a hundred and eighty milligrams of meth right now!
Portly man: Oh, man, if only I knew what I was on.
–E 11th St
Fat woman: Where do you want to eat?
Fat man: I don’t know. I’m kind of in the mood for Pizza Hut.
Fat woman: But Wendy’s is healthier…
–14th St
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
Fat lady: Whew! Hey, I think I just found the love of my life! The subway conductor! [People smile.] Wooo! He’s got a nice package! [People look away.] I tell ya, one night with him — you’ll never forget it! Where are we? Is this 34th? Look out! Clear the way! Wide load comin’ through! Have a wonderful day! [She exits, then screeches from the platform as train moves away] I love youuu!
–R train
Skinny chick: Was there scaffolding on his building?
Fat chick: Yeah, don’t you remember? I climbed it in my Catwoman costume on Halloween.
–Greenwich & 6th
Overheard by: tj
Chubby Asian girl: I just don’t know, Dani* — if you start out giving him head, I don’t see what I’m supposed to do.
Ghetto girl: You s’posed to shut the fuck up and eat my pussy, bitch.
Chubby Asian girl: Oh, okay.
–Starbucks, St. Mark’s Pl
Fat lady #1: I don’t know… I ain’t into all that freaky shit.
Fat lady #2: You just need to tell him you can’t be his nasty bitch no more.
Fat lady #1: I know that’s right, girl.
–6 train platform
Overheard by: Peter
