Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.
–Waverly & Greene
Dude to waiter: Yeah, I'll have the scrambled eggs. Scramble 'em soft so they're a little runny, with extra crispy bacon–almost burnt–wheat bread just a little toasted. Yeah, very light. And a cut of Gruyere cheese and grapes on the side. Yo, you still got those crumpets? Those flaky crumpets? Cool, I'll have 'em with peppermint tea with a wedge of lemon and cane sugar. Alright? Thanks.
Girlfriend, eying him warily: Babe, your brunch game is tight. Like, suspiciously tight…
–The Farm on Adderley, Brooklyn
Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.
–Manhattan Beach
Overheard by: The Tutors
Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.
–West 4th & Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Darci
Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.
–70th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Lisa B.
Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.
–Hair Rush Line Central Park
Overheard by: Krysta
Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.
–Flushing Petland Discount
Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)
–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Was a good impression
Guy #1: What did you say?
Guy #2: What do you think I said? “That ain’t shampoo, it’s maple syrup.”
–1st between 74th & 75th
Overheard by: The Iron Lung
Boy #1, looking at picture book: Grapes are purple, corn is yellow, tomatoes are red, edamame is green.
Boy #2: I think those are peas.
Boy #1: What are peas?
–LIRR
Overheard by: loisann
Long Island woman #1: What is this?
Long Island woman #2: Trust me; it’s good for you. I mean, look at these people…Have you ever seen them fat?!
–Korean grocery, 72nd & Broadway, Jackson Heights
Overheard by: DJ Lee, one of ‘these’ people
Bread vendor: Hey! Lady! Don’t touch the bread!
Old lady, squeezing bread: How am I gonna know if it’s fresh?
Bread vendor: I’ll give you fresh!
Old lady, hitting vendor with large purse in time to her speech: You. Know. What?! You’re. A. Dog! Nothing but a two-bit, Lower East Side dog! That’s what you are!
Bread vendor: Ahhh! [Old lady leaves.]
–Soho
Overheard by: Bulent Akman
Guido: I was there for that hallway incident.
Guidette: Which one? The one when she was naked, or the one with the crab claw?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Rachel Hoban
Employee: Ma’am, can I help you?
Woman: I’d like a half dozen of your chocolate chip cookies.
Employee: We only sell them, like, 1, 2, 3…
Woman to friend: Is she serious?
Friend: She’ll take 6.
–Starbucks, Rockefeller Center Concourse
Man to woman: What are you eating there!?
Woman to man: Weight Watchers bagel, with Weight Watchers cream cheese and turkey bacon.
Man to woman: What are you, on the zone?
–Madison Ave & 46th St
