Lately Jesus Finds Himself Obsessively Playing ‘Dead Rising’

Guy #1: The Jehovah Witnesses say the world is ending and the good will inherit the earth… So then what? The less good people will be the bad people, and little things will seem worse?
Guy #2: I don’t get it, these religions are inconsistent. Is Jesus taking the good people with him or do the good people inherit the earth? I hope he takes them with him.
Guy #1: I spoke with Jesus and he doesn’t know what’s going on: he just got the Xbox 360 and said he could care less.
Guy #2: He sounds like a good guy.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Bobby

Posted on March 31, 2008
Christianity, Default, Friends, Guys, Jesus, Mysticism, Philosophy, Port Authority, Questions, Video Games, Weirdness

Especially Ryan Adams

Hipster #1: No water?!?!
Hipster #2: I can’t believe they’re denying us the most basic necessity … I hate everyone right now!

–McCarren Park Pool

Posted on March 31, 2008
Anger Management, Default, Friends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, Parks, Puerto Ricans, Williamsburg, Wishes & desires

Consider Yourself Provisionally Forgiven

Chick #1: I didn’t call you fat.
Chick #2: Yes, you did! I remember it vividly! But it’s okay, ’cause I just forgot.

–34th & Broadway

Overheard by: may

Posted on March 30, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Insults, Street, Words

The G-Spot Is Inside You

Girl #1: I swear! This place exists!
Girl #2: If this place exists, then how come I can’t see it?

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Bones

Posted on March 30, 2008
Default, Friends, Girls, Philosophy, Private Parts, Questions, Sex, Street, The Village

Even Straight Guys Feel This Way

Guy #1: He came up and said, ‘Hey, big boy, wanna ring my bell?’
Guy #2: And…?
Guy #1: And of course I said I didn’t! But… it was nice being asked.

–The Shake Shack, Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Impatiently Waiting in Line for her Peanut Butter

Posted on March 30, 2008
Default, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Guys, Madison Square Garden, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality

Until Uncle Walter Showed Me.

Girl #1: So, I watched that movie Thirteen the other night. It was awesome.
Girl #2: Yeah, that was a really good movie. The girls in that movie were so mature for 13-year-olds. When I was 13, I didn’t even know what an ovary was!

–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle

Posted on March 28, 2008
Age/Aging, Body Parts, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movies, Whole Foods

Here, Use My Machete

Girl: I haven’t done anything fun this summer. I’m so bored.
Guy friend: Go hunting. Man hunting.

–6 train

Posted on March 28, 2008
Advice, Default, Friends, Girls, Guys, Leisure, On the Subway, Violence, Weirdness

The Creationists Are Going to Love This One

Ghetto girl: Hey, look! What’s that? I think it’s an egg!
Friend: What the hell?! What’s wrong with you? Monkeys don’t lay eggs!
Ghetto girl: … Well, how was I supposed to know that?!

–Bronx Zoo, Jungle World

Overheard by: cracking up behind them

Posted on March 28, 2008
Animals & Nature, Default, Education, Friends, Ghetto Chicks, Questions, Stupidity, The Bronx

Strongly Doubt Walt Would Have Given a Starring Role to a Black Person, Even a Deer

Teen thug #1: This weekend, I’m goin’ huntin’.
Teen thug #2: You goin’ kill Bambi?
Teen thug #1: Yeahhh, I’ll shoot that nigga!

–Staten Island Projects

Posted on March 28, 2008
Animals & Nature, Default, Disney, Friends, Questions, Shoot, Staten Island, Teens, Thugs

Five O’Clock Shadow?

Guy #1: Did I tell you I saw a woman’s pussy on the train today?
Guy #2: Nah, man.
Guy #1: Yeah, this chick sat opposite me in the shortest skirt, and her pussy was just like, BAM! There!
Guy #2: No way! She had no panties?
Guy #1: Of course. She was Hispanic.
Guy #2: Was that shit shaved?
Guy #1: I… uhhh… It was definitely buzzed.

–12th & Washington

Posted on March 27, 2008
Clothing, Default, Foreigners, Friends, Guys, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Questions, Street, Vagina, Waxing, West Village

Friends