Girl, to crowd of friends: Bye, you guys!
Friends: Bye!
Guy friend: Oh, and sorry about that whole “no Holocaust” thing. I was drunk… *really* drunk.
–Broadway & Waverly Place
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl, to crowd of friends: Bye, you guys!
Friends: Bye!
Guy friend: Oh, and sorry about that whole “no Holocaust” thing. I was drunk… *really* drunk.
–Broadway & Waverly Place
Overheard by: Hunter
Tipsy, barefoot woman, lifting skirt in broad daylight: Gotta air out my coochie!
–W 88th St
Belligerent drunk woman: I've never even heard of these fucking stops! (later) Scarsdale! I don't even know how to spell "Scarsdale"! Other than…Scarsdale. (later) What the fuck is Hartsdale? Slap me across the face with a big dick!
–Metro-North Train
Drunk girl to friends sitting on a couch left on the sidewalk: Don't sit on that couch, it's probably covered in bodily urine!
–East Village
Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor
Drunk wife to drunk husband during poker game: Don't you dare tell me about things that I don't understand!
–Poker Game, Astoria
Overheard by: NYCWATERBABY
Drunk girl: Bedford Avenue does not know how to find the clit!
–L Train
Mother to friend: If our kids would just smoke weed they'd be fine.
–Borough Hall, Brooklyn
Five-year-old child, walking past table of glass bongs and pipes: Daddy, I want one!
–Astor Place
Promoter for comedy club: Free bag of weed if you come to the 9:30 show!
–Times Square
Enthusiastic, loud girl on cell: Smoking pot? So you were smoking…you don't have to be so worried about people hearing what you're saying, nobody's even listening…seriously.
–27th & 7th
Overheard by: And she had to end up being in my class..
30-something lady: When she was just selling pot to Kevin Nealon, I think that was better.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brainy
Girl on cell: Sorry I texted you when you were giving birth.
–27th St & Park Ave
20-something girl: I kept saying, "I emailed a text to him!"
–Pub, 59th & 3rd
Overheard by: Bluetoothed them a postcard
20-something girl correcting her friend's text message: No, you don't need an apostrophe there. It's "hos," plural, not "of or pertaining to a ho."
–M15 Bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy with suitcase on cell: I sent him a text asking if I could stay at his place, and he said sure. I find out today he was being sarcastic.
–116th & Broadway
Student: Okay, it's 3:20. I think it's an appropriate time to text Ben and tell him I had a sex dream about him.
–Sarah Lawrence College
Overheard by: Anna
Guy: …And I said, “Thanks”, and that I would rape the shit outta her later.
Girl: And I said, “Oh yay, I’m gonna have a little rape baby.”
Guy: And we would name her Janelle.
–45th & Broadway
Overheard by: Chad
Teen boy: I like touching fat people.
–69th St & 5th Ave, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Guy to friends: So I was on the subway the other day and I was counting some guys’ chins and I realized, I’m just not a nice person.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: CUMT
Large black woman on cell: Of course I’m loud, I’m fat!
–25th & 8th
Overheard by: Beckerman
Chick to guy: I’m thinking of keeping it, as an excuse to get fat.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Ladle
30-something with heavy NYC accent: Ya know, if I had to do high school all over again, I woulda fucked a fat chick. I wouldna cared so much.
–34th & 5th
Man yelling on cell: I would be so much better at Jeopardy then her! Her fat Indian hands can’t hit the button as fast as I can!
–35rd St & 5th Ave
Female house manager: He comes over and he’s like: "What are you doing?" and I said: "My job." and he goes: "You’re fat."
–Theater, St Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Mariah
Chick on cell: Yeah, I'm like a hardcore rollerblader now. I just haven't learned how to stop yet.
–44th & 3rd
Steroid Freak: So I was hanging from his torso and then we tried to insert the triangle…
–25th & Lexington
Young man to friend: He likes me, he likes my style… he wants me to contort my limbs on a float.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Eyeteeth
Bored teenage girl (from 2nd story window): Hello, Mr Runner man! You've got a long way to go! I see you across the street there, wearing all black. These are words of encouragement! I support your acts of fitness!
–Vanderbilt & Bergen
Overheard by: Jilly
Female power-walker with cigarette: I used to be able to make a mile in under 7, but that was, you know, way back in college, before the job and the (runs out of breath) …way back.
–Prospect Park Loop
Overheard by: EmLo
Music manager on phone: You know what you need? Lesbians! Everyone needs a lesbian.
–20th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: LoRna
Lady on cell: And now she thinks I’m a lesbian because I borrowed her…
–Union Square Greenmarket
Overheard by: borrowed her what?
Guy on cell: Did you bring chairs and a cooler? Cause usually lesbians are so prepared, they always bring chairs and a cooler.
–Ludlow near Rivington
English woman (trying on a pair of vintage men inspired shoes) to man: I always thought there was something very chic about a woman wearing a man’s shoe. (looks at her footwear) But I have to be skinny for this look, otherwise I’ll look like a lesbian!
–Frock Vintage Store
Overheard by: Shoegal
Guy to friend: She isn’t a lesbian but she does own a house.
–13th & 1st
(taxi honks horn, loudly)
Guy #1: Fuckin' asshole!
Guy #2: Shut the fuck up!
Guy #3 to friends: We should do that more often. Like, to firetrucks.
–57th & 8th
Overheard by: EthanK
NYU girl to friend: She looks like a lesbian.
Random older man walking by: Aw, don't talk about her like that when she's not around.
NYU girl: But she does!
Random older man: Okay, I believe you.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ramsey
