Harry Wednesday and the Half-Blood One-Liner

Chick on cell: Look, there are only two people other than me who can construct a sentence that awesome: Severus Snape and Keith Olbermann, and one of them isn't even real!

–18th & 6th

Middle-aged man on cell: Hey man, guess what. I just saw Harry Potter's magic wand!

—Equus, Broadhurst Theatre

Overheard by: Kilfy

Chick on cell: Is he one of Voldemort's friends from high school?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Loud girl to friend: Because seriously, how many real redheads do we actually know? And Ron Weasley doesn't count!

–NYU

IT VP: This guy at work told me the ending to the last Harry Potter book before I read it. So I fired him.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Jason E

Posted on April 8, 2009
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Books & Writing, Bosses, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Friendship, Girls, Hair, Jobs & Careers, Magic, Men, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Physical appearance, Questions, School and studying, Store, Theater, Wednesday One-Liners

I'd Still Prefer a Polar Bear, Though.

Button-down and khakis guy #1: I wish I had a bi-polar friend…it'd be like having two friends in one!
Button-down guy #2, completely serious: Yeah, that'd be awesome.

–Crocodile Lounge, 14th St

Posted on April 7, 2009
Bars & Clubs, Friendship, Guys, Psychology, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

We Can Be Each Others' Funhouse Mirrors

White ginger head: You're the only one who can get in touch with my feelings.
Black girl: Yeah, we're like sisters.
White ginger head: You break down my emotions.
Black girl: I think we're in love.

–137th & Convent

Overheard by: Lovers can be Friends

Posted on March 22, 2009
Black People, Friendship, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Love, White People

Remember How He'd Periodically Check to See If I Was Breathing? That Little Imp!

Girl to skinny ditzy drunk girl: Remember my friend Mark?
Drunk skinny ditz: Mark who?
Girl: You know, Mark. He called you emaciated?
Drunk skinny ditz: Oh yeah! I fucking love Mark!

–Union Pool

Overheard by: Wally

Posted on February 24, 2009
Brooklyn, Drunks, Friendship, Girls, Insults, Names, Skinny People, Weirdness

Unless You Count Tom on MySpace

Irritating teen brother: Fine, then I'll just call up all your friends and tell them what a loser you are!
Nerdy older sister: Yeah, well, the joke's on you, cause I don't have any friends!

–Greeley Square

Overheard by: C. Milano

Posted on February 22, 2009
Brothers, Family Ties, Friendship, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nerds, Parks, Sisters, Teens, Threats, Weirdness

Plus, Kriss Angel Is Kind Of a Douche.

Dude: He had a bracelet with a universal handcuff key hidden on the inside in case he ever got in trouble.
Chick: What?
Dude: Yeah, I don't hang out with him much anymore.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Nathan

Posted on February 20, 2009
Friendship, Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Weirdness

Even Better

Upper East Side mom: Jackie, you have so many friends! I'm so happy for you!
Six-year-old girl: Mommy, those aren't my friends. Those are my entourage.

–92nd & Madison

Overheard by: LLOYD!!!

Posted on February 17, 2009
Friendship, Happiness, Kids, Moms, Should've Used a Condom, Upper East Side

They're Even Friends with It on Facebook!

Columbia girl: I mean, they're such bad friends. They basically support her being anorexic!
Friend: That's such an understatement. They encourage the anorexia! They're fucking fans of anorexia!

–116th & Broadway

Overheard by: Fellow Supporter

Posted on February 7, 2009
Columbia University, Friends, Friendship, Health and Hygiene, Students, Weirdness

A Wednesday One-Liner by Any Other Word Would Smell As Sweet

Sikh guy: I know a guy from high school who wore a name tag for eight years.

–W 4th St

Man on cell: You know, what's-her-face, she's friends with what's-her-name in HR.

–54th & 6th

Aging Guido: So there was this girl, I loved her, what was her name? Oh right, Nina. She lived in this fucked-up place. She said she had one kid, I went over one time, there were like three. Anyway, one time she was all like, "could I get three thousand pesos?" or whatever, and I was like, "Sure, if I get to fuck you and your friend!"

–1 Train

Mother to whiny brunette daughter: If you don't stop complaining I'm going to change your name. (pause) Yes, I'm going to change your name to Merlot, and your sister will be Chardonnay.

–61st & Madison

Overheard by: nancy

Small girl to unsuspecting male stranger: Excuse me! Excuse me! Excuse me! (indicating mother) Her name's Sophia.

–M 96 Bus

Posted on February 4, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Drinking & Drunk People, Friendship, Guidos, India Indians, Kids, Love, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Names, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, On the Bus, On the Subway, One-liners, Sex, Strangers, Street, The Village, Time, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Friendship