Crazy guy, pointing to lady while addressing teenage girl: Are you friends with her?
Teen girl: No.
Crazy guy: No one is friends with each other anymore!
–Q46 Bus
Crazy guy, pointing to lady while addressing teenage girl: Are you friends with her?
Teen girl: No.
Crazy guy: No one is friends with each other anymore!
–Q46 Bus
Guy: The more friends I have, the more of a chance that people aren't going to like me.
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Like Jesus, he had 12 followers. Jesus was a gangsta!
Girl: Yeah.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Hipster queer #1: I brought you out here to tell you that I slept with your boyfriend last night.
Hipster queer #2: You are a bad bad friend.
Hipster queer #1: You've had worse.
Hipster queer #2: But not hairier.
Hipster queer #1: Would you like some gin?
Hipster queer #2: Obviously.
–Central Park
Overheard by: hairless
Guy pouring himself cup of coffee to guy watching: You and I just really need to have a huge fight. I think that's the only way we can truly be friends.
–Fox News Breakroom
Overheard by: CreateEvity
College girl on cell: I'm a real-life imaginary friend to two different people.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: Am I Imaginary?
Soft-spoken thug on cell: I don't want to upset my baby momma, but I don't want to lose you as a friend.
–123rd & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Girl on phone: His name isn't CJ, it's JP. He wants to be friends with me, I'm gonna friend the heck outta him!
–Lafayette & White
Loud gay guy: So he asks me, "are we still just friends?" and I'm like, "umm, your dick was just in my mouth. Thats not what just friends do."
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ricardo the Sex Machine
Suit to hot chick: So what's your take on the bottled water companies? Friend or foe?
–Odeon, Thomas & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Woman #1: Did you tell your friends about my constipation?
Woman #2: No, I didn't, they wouldn't appreciate it.
–79 & 3rd
Frat guy: Do you guys rent out this place on Monday nights? Me and my buddies want to come back here.
Chinese woman behind bar: Yes. You want to watch football?
Frat guy: No! Gossip Girl!
–Karaoke Bar, Chinatown
Headline by: JakeP.
Runners-Up:
· “And Then We Will Paint Our Nails and Determine Who’s a Blaire and Who’s a Sabrina!” – Doesn’t watch Gossip Girl!
· “BTW, Do You Know How to Make a Cosmo?” – mark
· “Make the Reservation Under Kappa Feather Boa” – PeterG
· “She No Work on Mondays, but Little Lotus Come, You Like?” – Sim Etrias
· “Then It’s Off to Get Our Eyebrows Waxed!” – Sandy Paws
· “We Can’t Masturbate to Football Now That John Madden Retired” – Captain Sensible
· “You Can’t Watch Football on Mani/Pedi Night!” – tatts
Teen girl: They's your friends…
Teen boy: Is they my friends, or my friends' friends, or just some niggas I know? Get your terminology right.
–Chinese Restaurant, Brooklyn
NYU girl #1: I have to stop sharing.
NYU girl #2: Why?
NYU girl #1: I was about to take my birth control and offer you one.
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by:
Chick on cell: Look, there are only two people other than me who can construct a sentence that awesome: Severus Snape and Keith Olbermann, and one of them isn't even real!
–18th & 6th
Middle-aged man on cell: Hey man, guess what. I just saw Harry Potter's magic wand!
—Equus, Broadhurst Theatre
Overheard by: Kilfy
Chick on cell: Is he one of Voldemort's friends from high school?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Loud girl to friend: Because seriously, how many real redheads do we actually know? And Ron Weasley doesn't count!
–NYU
IT VP: This guy at work told me the ending to the last Harry Potter book before I read it. So I fired him.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Jason E
Button-down and khakis guy #1: I wish I had a bi-polar friend…it'd be like having two friends in one!
Button-down guy #2, completely serious: Yeah, that'd be awesome.
–Crocodile Lounge, 14th St
