Ghetto Chicks

Ghetto girl #1: So I took [the iPod].
Ghetto girl #2: See, if it was sitting on top I would take it, but I wouldn’t go through their bag. That’s just inconsiderate.

–Downtown D train

Overheard by: Brian
Headline by: Lisa

Runners-Up:
· “But When I Stabbed Her I Kept My Pinkie Finger Sticking Out” – tech98
· “Comes With Nano-Sized Morals and Earbuds to Block Out the Sounds of Your Cellmates” – Mia A.
· “If You Still Want to Listen to Nelly Furtado, Steal Another iPod Within 12 Hours” – Hunter North
· “It’s Not Like It Was Tied to His Wheelchair All That Tightly Either” – corey mcpubes
· “It’s Only Rape If She’s Wearing Undewear” – john
· “Martha Says: ‘When Jacking Someone’s Tunes, It’s Proper to Leave an Origami Swan in Their Bag. It’s a Good Thing.'” – Jatmos
· “Maybe She Was Borrowing It From a Friend, You Racist Fucks” – ceci
· “She’s Practicing So She Knows How to Get Time Off For Good Behavior” – Shane
· “That Reminds Me of the Time I Found a Walkman Next to a Dead Rollerblader.” – Hobo Whisperer
· “There’s a Big Difference Between Stealing and Stealing” – Piret
· “When I Turned the Bag Upside Down, It Was on Top. DUH!” – Redneck Jedi

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Eco-Friendly ghetto girl: You saw Incovenient Truth? We gonna be underwater in, like, 50 years.
Laconic ghetto girl: Word?
Eco-Friendly ghetto girl: Yeah, we gonna be fish one day.

–92nd & West End

Mother, to little boy: No, you cannot smell my armpit!

–Keyspan Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Jesse

Doctor on cell: Look, having knees doesn’t make you special.

–Oustide New York Presbyterian Hospital

Ghetto chick: When she’s asleep, I’m gonna squat on her brain.

–16th between 7th & 8th

Overheard by: alyssa

Father of little girl who has just hit her head: Did your brain fall out?

–Chili’s, Staten Island

Overheard by: Ada and Andi

Chick: His teeth are really straight. But that’s because he was home-schooled.

–Baskin Robbins, 23rd & 8th

Guy: Every time a girl sees my teeth, she’s like, “Naaah.” I’m gonna get this whole shit redone, where they take them all out and replace the whole thing. It costs like $20,000…Only thing is you have to go two months without any teeth.

–29th St & 33rd Ave, Astoria

Middle-aged man, to college girl in skirt: Excuse me, miss, you have very nice legs. Have you ever thought about doing voice-overs?

–31st & 6th

Overheard by: plo

Teenage boy: Who wants to play guess which body part am I fidgeting?

–North Gannon & Bradley, Staten Island

Overheard by: Shamrocknroll

Sista #1: Looka there! A naked squirrel! Look like he got burnt or somebody shaved him down the middle.
Sista #2: People be eatin’ squirrels now.
Sista #1: Look like he have a mohawk.
Sista #2: It’s a little squirrel torture place somewhere. Somebody done that to him.
Sista #1: It’d have to be someone who was raised in the woods. Know how to handle a squirrel.

–Union Square

Overheard by: lost soul

Sista #1: I wish he’d take them fuckin’ pants off do I could see what he got to work with.
Sista #2: He’s a whopper!
Sista #1: His dick could make him money, man.

–Union Square

Overheard by: lost soul

Chick: Why you looking at her? Who is she?
Guy: I don’t know, but she’s sexy as hell.
Chick: Nigga please. She ain’t all that. What she got that I don’t got?
Guy: A pretty face, a nice ass, big tits, a banging body…Need I say more?

–Downtown Brooklyn

Overheard by: The girl they were talking about

Guy: Hey! Don’t touch me! You can’t sit here. People don’t just sit on the floor on the train.
Drunk woman: I have…a very bad…back…
Guy: Then ask somebody to give you their seat. Then go see a doctor.

She flips him off.

Woman #2: Oh no, she didn’t!

–A train

Overheard by: wish I’d been drunk at 9am

Receptionist lady: Don’t you be sayin’ my whole name; I’m on America’s Most Wanted!

–NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital, West 168th Street

Overheard by: supermerm

Girl: If anybody is gonna bring back the cape it will probably be a
lesbian.

–Borders, Time Warner Center