Guy: I can’t stand these people who friend everybody in the class of 2010 on Facebook.
Girl: Ugh, I know. Some girl who does that told me my photos made her cry a little.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
Guy: I can’t stand these people who friend everybody in the class of 2010 on Facebook.
Girl: Ugh, I know. Some girl who does that told me my photos made her cry a little.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Michelle
Girl #1, showing Girl #2 a website: Look at how beautiful this place is; it’s in Rhode Island.
Girl #2: I love Rhode Island. I used to go there a lot.
Girl #3: Yuck, why would you go to Rhode Island? That’s where that mental institution is. Why would you want to go there?
Girl #2: No, Rhode Island is a state in our country. You mean Roosevelt Island, and that institution has been closed for, like, ever.
–W 77th St
Girl #1: Yeah, there’s fucking nothing worse than seeing your parents have sex.
Girl #2: Your grandparents having sex, dude.
Girl #1: Or, like, two really, really fat people.
–R train
Guy: Hey! Where’s my Sudanese pussy from Chinatown?
–14th & University
Guy on cell: I’ll meet you at the corner by the store with Chinese writing…Hey, wait a minute. All the fucking signs around here have Chinese writing.
–Walker & Lafayette
Overheard by: Wolf
Guy on cell: So, if this is true, then Dracula’s native language would be Hungarian rather than Romanian. And I think that is important for my research.
–Anthology Film Archives, 2nd St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: nosy cinephile
Teen girl: This bag is mad Aztec.
–13th & University
Co-Worker: So, did she mention anything about Mexicans?
–Office, W 36th St
Overheard by: Evan
Well-Traveled girl: Mexico is not a Third-World country. JFK is.
–Tea Lounge, Park Slope
Small child: Mommy, look! You can tell he’s Mexican by his eyes!
–Bodies exhibit, South Street Seaport
White girl, to Asian girl: So wait, is he just not Japanese or not interested?
–Walgreens, Union Square
Overheard by: Goldie
Businesswoman: Well you can’t kill a Vietnamese man because that would just cost too much.
–I Trulli restaurant, E 27th St
Hobo: You’re not Polish; you just think you’re Polish!
–Tompkins Square Park
Voice over intercom: Will the foreign exchange student please come to the cashier.
–Century 21
Sassy chick: I can’t believe she’s moving to fucking Cambodia to live with a fucking cricket-hunter she’s only known for two months!
–TGI Friday’s, 52nd & 7th
Overheard by: Shaina
Girl #1: Do Italians live in Little Italy?
Girl #2: Shh…Just, shh.
Guy: Did you really just ask that?
Girl #2: That’s why I told her to shh. I was hoping no one else heard her.
Girl #1: Well, I think it’s a legit question. All I see is Chinamen.
–Little Italy
Overheard by: Ashley
Little girl, pointing to an ad depicting peanut butter and banana on
bread: What is that?
Mother, looking at the ad for a moment: It’s sushi.
Little girl: What’s sushi?
Mother: It’s Chinese food…You wouldn’t like it.
–Downtown B train
Headline by: Maniac Moll
Runners-Up:
· “愚かなアメリカ人” – Oog Oog
· “1 Billion Americans Couldn’t be Wrong” – Moze
· “50,000 Elvis Fans Discover They Like Raw Fish” – ED
· “And Why Don’t We Like Chinese Food? That’s Right, ‘Cause They Bombed Pearl Harbour” – Brendan
· “Choosey Moms Choose Eel and Avocodo” – PJ
· “Don’t Tell Me What I Like, You Chink Bitch” – Bevan
· “If You Eat the Wrong Part, You Become a Gorilla” – devin the artist
· “It’s Only Chinese if the Banana Is Small” – Oren K
· “Mommy, it Looks so Much Like Daddy’s Cock Coming Out of Your Asshole.” – Extra Character
· “New Study Finds Confusion Prevents Childhood Obesity” – Booters
· “Technically, Honey, It’s Sashimi” – ED
High school girl: Um, excuse me, Frenchie? Can I get a picture with you?
Frenchie Davis: I’m sorry, I simply don’t have time for this tonight. [Starts to walk away]High school girl: Please? It’s my birthday.
Frenchie, over her shoulder: Sweetheart, it’s always someone’s birthday. You are going to have to do better than that.
–Outside the Nederlander Theatre, W 41st St
Overheard by: AJ
Slutty girl: My high school history teacher ate my pussy. Then the science teacher. He ate my pussy. Then in college my freshman philosophy professor and my junior year economics professor, they ate my pussy.
Practical girl: You need to put out a Zagat guide to your twat.
–Prince & Broadway
Overheard by: PDJ
Teenage half-virgin boy: Did you know the official definition of an orgy is three people sitting in a room with their socks off?
Teenage one-quarter-virgin girl: No way! Then we have orgies all the time!
–SoHo
Overheard by: disgusted old lady.
Guy: He was like, “My girlfriend gained all this weight, and that’s why I left her,” and all of the girls were like, “Gasp! You monster!” And then he was like, “But it was, like, 95 pounds!” and all of the girls were like, “Gasp! Eww! Gross!”
–Party, 16th & 1st
