Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Hipster guy: So, I just don't have room.
Smartass girl: You have room for me in your bed.
Hipster guy, after long pause: Ummm, maybe.
–St. Mark's & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
Girl to friend: I wonder what’s the difference between hard tacos and soft tacos.
–Line at Taco Bell, Queens Mall Food Court
Overheard by: NTA
Guy talking to his friend: I don’t believe there is a first time for everything, but I do think there is a first time for anything.
–2nd St & Ave B
Overheard by: Max Berlinger
Girl on cell in hallway: She told me to get bacterial soap.
–Fordham University, Rose Hill
Overheard by: Krisztina ,who uses anti-bacterial
Subway comedian: My wife is so stupid. I told her to take the 2 train, she took the 1 twice. [Awkward silence follows. Comedian proceeds to dance around a subway pole pretending to be a stripper.]
–1 Train
Overheard by: Subway rider
Guy on cell: Dude, you’ve got to stop doing this "living paycheck to paycheck" thing because every time you get a check it’s like an emotional highway.
–Columbia University Campus
Overheard by: Alina
College girl, after closing a Nutella jar: I solved it! I solved the puzzle!
–Broome St
Overheard by: YJL
Girl #1 (in bodega): Oooh, can I have a little taste of that?
Girl #2: Lick my crabs!
–133rd & Amsterdam
Girl to no one in particular: I want to have sexual intercourse with you.
Friend: Sexual intercourse sounds like they want to put their balls inside your vagina too.
–172 St & Jerome
Overheard by: Emm
Girl: Would you be mad if I became a dominatrix? It's not like I'd let the guys go down on me. It's a better option than prostitution.
Guy: Or you could just *not* do sex work, since you have a PhD.
–St. John's Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eavesdropper has become eavesdroppee!
Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Trashy girl (loudly): So I was suckin his cock for like 45 minutes and nothin happened, I was like, “fuck yo problem?”
Friend: Word?
Trashy girl: For real! (turns to staring suit) Excuse me, this is a private conversation!
–A Train
Loud guy: They’re both really pretty.
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Loud guy: Sure, they’ve got busted noses, but they’re still really pretty.
–Chola Restaurant, 58th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I'll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can't have sex with people who aren't retarded because they charge too damn much!
–V Train
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn't retarded. Technically, I'm not a hypocrite.
–L Train
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded?
–6 Train
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.
–Columbia University
