White girl #1: Do you dance hip hop?
White girl #2: I'm too white for that.
White girl #3: I can dance and I'm white.
White girl #2: But you're Russian? Russian people don't have any black people.
–32nd & 5th Ave
White girl #1: Do you dance hip hop?
White girl #2: I'm too white for that.
White girl #3: I can dance and I'm white.
White girl #2: But you're Russian? Russian people don't have any black people.
–32nd & 5th Ave
Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Cannelle
Cop: I won’t issue you a summons if you can answer this question correctly… What’s closer to New York, Italy or the moon? I’ll give you a hint. You can see the moon.
Perp: Ummm… the moon!
–Brownsville, Brooklyn
Overheard by: po-pos do give 2nd chances
Girl #1: His Irish accent is so heavy.
Girl #2: I know.
Girl #1: All I could make out were the words ‘actor’ and ‘single,’ but we’ll work the rest out later.
–Stitch Bar & Lounge
Guy on cell: …I’m fine, really. It was not a good time to come to London, though. The police are all running around looking worried. I should be back in New York in a few days.
–Duane Reade, Broadway & 84th
Overheard by: kenny
Teen boy #1: Nah, nigga, she can’t be Spanish. She too skinny.
Teen boy #2: She’s Spanish, yo.
Teen boy #1: I tell you, she ain’t from Spain. She’s from Europe. She has a Euro-sounding name.
Teen boy #2: Maybe she’s Mexican.
Teen boy #1: Yeah, she could be Mexican.
–Tompkins Square Park
Overheard by: Heather
Man: So, you’re *finally* wearing green for Saint Patrick’s Day.
Woman: I wore a green dress on Saint Patrick’s Day. I’m half Irish and half German.
Man: Oh, we’re all Mongols, aren’t we?
–William & Ann
Guy #1: You don’t sound British.
Guy #2: Well, I am.
Guy #1: Where are you from?
Guy #2: Scotland.
Guy #1: But you don’t sound like Oasis.
–Carroll Gardens
Guy: Yeah, in the early nineties the American Embassy burned down from an apparent electrical fire, and when they inspected it, they found bugs in every wall and ceiling.
Girl: Ewww… That’s disgusting. I’m never going to Russia.
Guy: No, not actual… Never mind.
–53rd St
Woman with nasal voice: I just really need to get out of here, I'd prefer to go someplace warm and interesting. But I don't know where it's warm and interesting.
Yuppie man: My boss–well, I guess I should say “my partner,” cause I made partner…but it sounds so (sexual voice) homosexual to say “my partner randy”…anyway, he just came back from Argentina and he loved it.
Woman with nasal voice: Oh! I just went to Argentina, actually. And then to Uruguay. We went to this little town, it was pretty much the Hamptons of South America.
–Barnes & Nobles, E 86th St
