Dude on cell: He just ate the whole freaking diaper? So, he just shit it out in little pieces?
–Red Rock Bar, 17th & 10th
Overheard by: Scooby-Don’t
Dude on cell: He just ate the whole freaking diaper? So, he just shit it out in little pieces?
–Red Rock Bar, 17th & 10th
Overheard by: Scooby-Don’t
Girl: Couldn’t you just write me a prescription?
Guy: No, I can’t do that yet.
–Ludlow & Stanton
Overheard by: Barry
Chick: I would like to become a boy for a day just so I can pee standing up.
Guy: I am not going to lie to you, it’s awesome!
–Georgia Diner, Queens
UES wife: So, what do you do?
20-something guy: I teach high school math.
UES husband: Oh, where at?
UES wife: Stuyvesant?
20-something guy: Um, no. It’s called ‘City-As-School.’
UES wife: Ohhh, is that one of those ‘special’ high schools?
20-something guy: I guess. Well, I mean, they’re all special.
–ICE, 6th & 23rd
Overheard by: office peon
Guy #1: This is fun, but it will be a lot better when we’re in bed.
Guy #2: … You’re gay?
–Urinal, Hard Rock Café
Overheard by: Danny
Headline by: ilemanzer
Runners-Up:
· “Can’t a Straight Guy Talk to His Penis?” – Tadzio
· “Does Mom Know?” – Ren
· “If I’d Known That Earlier I’d NEVER Have Let You Suck My Cock” – Lindsey
· “No, but I Did Appreciate That You Swallowed.” – Me
· “You’re a Guy?” – alice
Guy #1: You know, 82 percent of the world is not cut.
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m not circumcised.
Guy #3: Dude! That’s gross!
Guy #2: No — how so? It’s cool.
Guy #3: Yo, let’s call up some bitch and ask her what’s hotter: a dick with the skin or without it.
Guy #4: You know, the David is not circumcised.
Guy #2: See?! Cut penises are so bare.
Guy #5: How would you know?!
Guy #4: Yeah, but the David’s Jewish… It’s wrong! And how does an uncircumcised penis help you?
Guy #2: It protects dirt from coming in.
–Columbia University
Guy #1: Okay, so, important question: fantasy or science fiction?
Girl: Both! Oh, totally both!
Guy #2: I’m not even going to lie here. I really like those Magic cards.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: SCS
Guy #1: Look at that car. That’s a nice car.
Guy #2: Yeah, I would trade my wife for that car… if I had a wife…
–50th & 6th
Guy in elevator: God, it’s hot! Must be my underwear…
Chick: Underwear, yeah?
Guy in elevator: Yeah, I got plastic underwear… [Chick is silent.] … For easy cleaning.
–28th & 6th
Guy on cell: I said to send flowers to his grave! What? Flowers! Wait. I just lost you for a second. Can you hear me now?
Annoyed passenger: Yes, we fucking can.
–NJ Transit
