Girl: I was like, “High school is over. I can’t wait to get away from everyone!” And then, thanks to you, I actually realized that I might miss some people. You, James*, Gabrielle*, Dave V.*, Karen G.*!
Guy: But all of us except James are going to St. John’s, and he’s coming here to Queens.
Girl: But Gabrielle is going to Jersey! Everyone knows that once you go to Jersey, your soul dies.
–Queens College campus
Overheard by: Peter G.
Guy: My dad’s dating Jabba the Hutt with red eyebrows.
Girl: No!
–Myrtle & Washington, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Sara Jerome
Guy #1, under downpour: You said it wasn’t going to rain.
Guy #2: It wasn’t!
–14th & University
Overheard by: aulevan
Ghetto guy: Yo, can I getcha number?
Girl: Umm, no, this is my boyfriend.
Girl leans in to kiss gay friend.
Ghetto guy: Oh, ok, sorry. I didn’t know.
Gay friend: Girl, if I wasn’t gay before, I sure as hell am now!
–1 train
Guy: Yo, so did you do the AIDS walk thing?
Girl: No. I don’t have AIDS.
Hobo: Not yet she doesn’t.
–Columbus Circle
Guy: And there’s one more thing you could say. It’s “I love you.”
Girl, looking through her purse: Ha ha, I know, one sec.
–Tompkins Square Park
Doctor: Well, I can’t guarantee that after the circumcision it will look exactly like what you described.
–New York Presbyterian Hospital
Guy: I need to see a doctor. I’m not dying, but I have a leaking, stinking navel.
–Doctor’s office, 67th & Amsterdam
Girl: We’re together.
Guy: We are?
Girl: For now.
–The Bag House, 12th & Broadway
Overheard by: Tina T. Lin
Guy #1: Is it disgusting that I think pregnant women are sexy?
Guy #2: Not necessarily.
Guy #1: Like that woman there. That round belly makes me want to come all over her face.
Guy #2: Okay, that is disgusting.
–Trader Joe’s, 14th St
Overheard by: Also Disgusted
Girl: I can’t believe they’re making a live action Transformers movie.
Guy: Whatever, I will definitely go see it.
Girl: Are you even old enough to remember Transformers?
Guy: Of course, I’m only three years younger than you.
Girl: Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you were old enough to be conscious of Transformers. My brothers are your age and they don’t remember the show that well.
Guy: You do realize every time you ask me that it doesn’t make me seem young, right? It just makes you seem old.
–26th & Madison
Overheard by: DL
