Greenpeace guy: Do you have a second for Greenpeace?
Woman: Meow.
–3rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: JJ
Greenpeace guy: Do you have a second for Greenpeace?
Woman: Meow.
–3rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: JJ
Guy: Dude, look at their Board of Health certificate on the wall there. It’s brown. No, it’s dirty!
Girl: Oh my God, that’s so filthy. What’s that on top there? [walks over] Jesus Christ, it’s a cockroach!
–Chinese restaurant, Flatbush & Dekalb, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lunch Special
Girlfriend, to boyfriend walking out of the bathroom: Did you wash your hands? [Takes his hand] Ew! No, you didn’t!
Boyfriend: You put it in your mouth. I think I’ll be all right to touch it every once in awhile.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Clay Parrish
Guy: Hey, Margie, you’re wearing the same clothes as yesterday.
Bag lady: What do you want? I’m homeless.
–Outdoor cafe, 7th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: Brittany
Guy #1: I need to get some Chapstick. I have some chapped ass lips, man.
Guy #2: Gross, you have chapped asslips?
–Times Square
Overheard by: patrick Smith
Guy: She’s just a friend I fuck. And she has a boyfriend.
Girl: Who sleeps with prostitutes who give him genital warts.
Guy: Shhhh.
–Astoria-bound N train
Overheard by: effie
Guy: Yo, Katie, why do you always gotta look at me like I just looked at your ass or somethin’?
Katie: Well, because most of the time you usually are!
–Cheap Shots, 1st Ave between 9th & St.Mark’s
Overheard by:
Guy on cell: My doctor told me if you piss right after sex, you can’t get STDs…Yeah, I do it all the time.
–Suffolk & Rivington
Overheard by: John
Loud teen girl: Wait, you had a dream that you had AIDS? That I had AIDS? Fuck you, man.
–Brighton Beach, Brooklyn
Chick on cell: I know it’s sick, but I’m so excited that I can have unsafe sex now!
–23rd Street & Broadway
Overheard by: Becka Dash
Concerned citizen: Excuse me, I don’t know if this is a trans-generational or New York metropolitan faux pas, but you should really tell your friend, girlfriend, lady friend or whatever that one in every four persons in America has herpes.
–sushi restaurant, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Caitlyn
Keen observer: They’re fuckin’ cowards, man! Mountain lions are cowards, too.
–12th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Loud girl on cell: Well don’t ask me! I don’t know anything about the mechanics of whale sex!
–9th Ave
Subway conductor: Please enter the train as human beings, not wild animals.
–23rd St F station
Guy: Yeah that reminds me of my first time. He took me to dinner but was too nice and perfect. Then in bed he made animal noises and his cat was like between us and he didn’t kick it out of bed.
–Nowhere bar, 14th St between 1st and 2nd
Campaign worker: Are you a registered Democrat in New York?
Guy: I believe in God.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jenny Tobias
