British guy #1, weaving through umbrellas: You paid for a good time, not a long time.
British guy #2, sounding disgruntled: Well, I want a refund.
–Outside Bubba Gump Shrimp, Times Square
Overheard by: Mildred and Gertrude
British guy #1, weaving through umbrellas: You paid for a good time, not a long time.
British guy #2, sounding disgruntled: Well, I want a refund.
–Outside Bubba Gump Shrimp, Times Square
Overheard by: Mildred and Gertrude
Girl: Would you be mad if I became a dominatrix? It's not like I'd let the guys go down on me. It's a better option than prostitution.
Guy: Or you could just *not* do sex work, since you have a PhD.
–St. John's Place, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Eavesdropper has become eavesdroppee!
Loud guy: They’re both really pretty.
Girl: Yeah, sure.
Loud guy: Sure, they’ve got busted noses, but they’re still really pretty.
–Chola Restaurant, 58th St, between 2nd & 3rd Ave
Yankees fan to Mets friends: When we go to the Yankees stadium I'll be like a retard at a Chuck E. Cheese.
–Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Danial
Police officer in van, on loudspeaker: Move to the right! (people in cars ignore the order) Retards! You heard me! Move to the right!
–27th St & 10th Ave
Crazy guy, ranting: You can't have sex with people who aren't retarded because they charge too damn much!
–V Train
Overheard by: Ryan P.
Guy to girl: I never said that I wasn't retarded. Technically, I'm not a hypocrite.
–L Train
Overheard by: Julia
Heavily made-up girl: Do you think retarded people are, like, conceptually aware that they're retarded?
–6 Train
Overheard by: You tell me
Girl: The idea of a retarded Jack Russell Terrier is completely foreign to me, because as I recall, Wishbone was exceptionally well-read.
–Columbia University
Guy: So wait…what's your major?
Girl to group of friends: Booty poppin' bitches.
–Hunter College
Guy: Oh come on!
Girl: Don't “oh come on” me!
Guy: I'm usually good with that.
–44th St & Broadway
20-something dude: I don't get why a tourist would spend their whole day trying to spot an actor.
Friend: Yeah.
20-something dude: I guess I could see myself going to some real hot actresses' usual spots.
Man: You mean like stalking?
20-something dude: Hah! This guy knows what I'm talking about.
Man: I'm a cop.
20-something dude: Oh. So you actually know what I'm talking about. Don't worry, officer, I only intend on stalking Natalie Portman.
Cop: You wanna go for a ride?
20-something dude: Like around in your car?
Cop: To the station.
20-something dude: I'll shut up.
Cop: Thatta boy.
–Brooklyn Heights
Overheard by: InDCandMissingBK
Guy #1: And I don't want to be gay about it, but it was love at first sight.
Guy #2: Dude, that's pretty gay.
Guy #1: Yeah, it is rather gay.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Heather
Girl: So were they good-looking? Can you even tell if a guy is good-looking?
Guy (clueless, shrugging shoulders): I don't know! They were English!
–77th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Hipster guy: I don’t like him. He’s a douchebag.
Hipster girl: I said he was a nice guy. I didn’t say he wasn’t a douchebag.
–M1 bus
Overheard by: Kinda Nice Guy
