Hard Drugs

Bimbette #1, walking by long line waiting outside Grimaldi's: Look at this, all these people in line for pizza.
Bimbette #2: Wow, what are they doing? Are they putting crack in it?

–Old Fulton St., Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ger-Man in New York

Hobo #1: You know Allen? Allen is a crackhead!
Hobo #2: You know… I used to be a crackhead.

–28th St & 8th Ave

Younger girl, singing: Salacado, lamenchekaboo, bippity boppity boo. Put 'em together and what have you got? Bippity boppity boo!
Older girl: That song was definitely written by an autistic crackhead.

–The Disney Store

Gay male: I just want to get naked, go home, and smoke crack.
Fag hag, casually: Okay.

–Perry Street

Guy sitting at bar: I live in the ghetto. And there's a lot of crackheads. But I'm not attracted to them.

–Mojito Loco, Brooklyn

Crackhead to gay boy: Yo, gay boy! When a crackhead asks you a question you answer!

–110th St Station

Guy to friend: The only reason I quit cigarettes was because crack ended up being cheaper.

–NYU Bobst Library

Girl on cell: Well, it's a good thing you didn't buy that crack then. (pause) Oh.

–Columbia University College Walk

Economics teacher: I want you to understand elasticity!
Student: LSD?

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Girl #1: I saw the most crack-whorish looking girl today in Starbucks.
Girl #2: Now, was she crack-whorish or heroine chic? Because there is a difference.
Girl #1: No. She was definitely a crack whore. I mean. Imagine Courtney Love…now imagine Courtney Love run over by a train.

–W 4th

Overheard by: xanaxfashoin

Guy #1, sitting on bench looking at own hand: This isn't LSD, these are…pieces of cardboard, that guy just ripped me off.
Guy #2, sitting next to him: Lemme eat one, we'll see.

–Washignton Square

Overheard by: guthrie

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just accidentally become a sex worker.

–40th & 9th

Overheard by: McFreaky

Attractive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a better body, I would be a prostitute.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Overheard by: rpk

Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hooker, for god's sake.

–115th & Broadway

Overheard by: columbia undergrad

Five-year-old boy: Mom, what's a gigolo?

–6 Train

Overheard by: Justine

Woman yelling into a cell: For the love of god, I'm sleeping with men for crack. Do you really think that would mess with my list of priorities?

–2nd Ave & Houston

Overheard by: Wonders what the suggestion was

20-something woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex industry?

–NJ Transit

Overheard by: Poogins

Hobo: I need change. I need me some change. Gonna get a steak sandwich.
Angry woman: Fuck that. Fuck you! I'm a social worker and I know you're nothing but a worthless son of a bitch! I know you gonna buy you some crack!
Hobo: Somebody better fire that bitch!

–Brooklyn