(in Spanish)
Hispanic woman #1: Girl, I couldn't pee all day. I just peed before we left the office, that's it.
Hispanic woman #2: You gotta go to the doctor for that, you know. Could be bad.
Hispanic woman #3: I peed so much today… I just couldn't stop! It just went on and on for so long. I peed so much I felt something break, you know?
Hispanic woman #1: Girl!
–39th & 8th
Big, Italian guy on cell: Braces? (pause) Why do you want braces? (pause) You don't just get them 'cause you want them!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: I hated braces
30-something woman to friend: I started getting cavities after I started making out with boys.
–Queens
Overheard by: Angela
Drunk guy: I wasn't having a heart attack, I was at the dentist!
–M60 Bus
Happy tall man on cell: Alright, nigga, brush your teef and all that, I wanna get high!
–111th & Lenox Ave
Hipster guy: Suck my balls.
Preppy girl: But…you have scabies.
–Grand Central
Young mom, picking daughter’s nose: I see something in there!
Little girl turns head an picks own nose: I’ll get it!
Young mom, going in again: Don’t pick your nose!
–A train
Overheard by: amused
Woman: A hundred dollars worth of squeaky toys and you eat garbage off the floor! I don’t get it.
–22nd & 7th
Overheard by: debo
Teenage boy: Once I hit the blind kid that lives downstairs with a ball and I felt so bad but it had me thinking, “what if he got his sight back by me hitting him?”. I would be like, “yo, you have your sight back thanks to me, give me some money.”
–2 train
Girl on cell: Your ass is, like, slightly cuter than my face.
–Union Square
White guy: Baby, do you know how much I love you? (rubs the most sensitive part of her eye)
Asian woman: (long pause)
White guy: Did you hear me?
Asian woman: Okay… You know what? I love affection, but I am not getting any younger and you're making my crow's foot worse!
–F Train
Overheard by: BJ
A group of retards are being watched by two caretakers.
Hetard: You’re stupid.
Shetard: Shut up. You have halitosis of the eye. Every time you blink, you stink!
–Battery Park
Overheard by: Josh Rav
Man #1: Your kid actually wants to go to the doctor?
Man #2: Yeah, he can’t stop thinkin’ about ’em.
Man #1: Thinking about what?
Man #2: Boobs! He can’t stop thinking about boobs!
–12th & Broadway
Ghetto girl #1: Damn, yo! What the fuck is up wit your left eye? It’s dumb red!
Ghetto girl #2: Nah, it ain’t even like that. There was a shootout.
Ghetto girl #1: You got shot in the eye? How the fuck…?
Ghetto girl #2: Yeah, he was trying to come on my mouth and missed and shot some into my eye.
Ghetto girl #1: Damn! Who the fuck he think you was? Jenna Jameson or something? Keep on doing that kinky shit, now look at your dumb fucked-up ass.
–Simpson Street station
Overheard by: schizo diva
Woman #1: So, your vagina’s open, right?
Woman #2: …yeah.
Woman #1: And there’s a smell.
Woman #2: Um.
Woman #1: And it’s a very personal smell!
–Broadway & Waverly
