Hobo #1: Yo, what it is brah?
Hobo #2: I don't know man, what it is witchyou?
Hobo #1: I don't know man, but I'm tryin' to get it!
–Washington Square Park
Hobo #1: Yo, what it is brah?
Hobo #2: I don't know man, what it is witchyou?
Hobo #1: I don't know man, but I'm tryin' to get it!
–Washington Square Park
Hobo: Yo, can I get some money?
Guy: Sorry man, can’t help you out.
Hobo: That’s aight. Things are tough for everyone. Can you at least get me some water from your sink?
Guy: Uh, okay.
Hobo: Wait, let me find a bottle.
Guy: That’s okay, I have a bottle I can give you.
He goes inside and comes back out with a bottle of water.
Hobo: Oh, thanks! Hey, wait. What, was this just sittin’ around?
Guy: No, I just filled it up from my sink.
Hobo: Oh, well, I don’t mean no disrespect. But you mind dumping this out and letting it run for a while? Shit just ain’t cold enough.
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: bklyn awesome, waiting outside
Hobo: Can anyone help me get something to eat? Please please someone, please, help me out with something to eat?
Woman: Would you like a slice of pizza?
Hobo: Not now, baby!
–1 train
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Hobo: I need money to get food, and a haircut and an ID.
Guy: You’re gonna use it for drugs.
Hobo: No! I hate that. Why do people yell out “drugs”?
Woman: ’cause you look high.
The hobo leaves the car, experiences a moment of l’esprit d’escalier, and returns.
Hobo: Well, hello to you miss.
–D train
Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.
–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square
Overheard by: Adam Nathan
Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?
–Harlem
Overheard by: Ladle
Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!
–1 Train
Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!
–N Train
Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…
–5th Ave & 14th St
Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.
–Starbucks
Overheard by: jessi pfeufer
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have an announcement to make: Mayor Bloomberg is a pol pot, I have accepted Jesus Christ as my personal savior, and I am trying to get some money for a snack wrap. Your kindness is appreciated.
–4 train
Overheard by: Scotty H.
Hobo: Ladies and gentlemen, I have walked many, many miles, and I have sucked many, many dicks, but I… [doors close].
–E train, W 4th
Hobo rattling coin can as WASP lady passes: Mrs. Rockefeller, pay yo’ bills!
–79th & Lex
Overheard by: Clook
Hobo to another: So, I hear you’re an international spy now.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: tj
Wheelbo: Can somebody give me some money so I can buy a Rolex? Please hurry. I want to know what time it is.
–80th & Broadway
Black drunk hobo: Girl, lemme tell you something. I'm a Sagittarius and we funny as shit once we're sober. Can I ask you something? Are you Russian?
Woman on subway: No.
Black drunk hobo: You look Russian. I know all about them Russians. Matter of fact, I have a book coming out later this year. It's called I Know Shit.
–1 Train
Overheard by: TVontheFritz
Crazy hobo, looking up from intense argument with imaginary friend: Excuse me, sir!
Confused suit: Uh, yeah?
Crazy hobo: What kind of teacher are you?
Confused suit: Teacher?
Crazy hobo: Yes, what subject do you teach?
Confused suit: But, um, I'm not a teacher…
Crazy hobo: Oh. Well, that's alright. Don't think I was criticizing you. I guess it's alright if you're not a teacher. I wasn't insulting you!
–6th & Spring
Overheard by: Heather
Hobo: I was talking to my therapist and she said, “Would you rather hurt yourself or someone else?” And I started to say “myself” but then I thought she didn’t want to hear that. So I told her that I would hurt someone else. That seemed more sane.
–1 train
Overheard by: James Gillece
Man on phone: Come down the road and I'm the first house that you do not see.
–Office Building, W 46th St
Overheard by: TheGreenCat
Black woman on cell: Don't fuck in ma house!
–Union Square Station
10-year-old boy to another: Yeah, my mom says I can fuck a girl in her house, as long as she ain't a skanky-ass ho.
–105th & Broadway
Overheard by: Andy
Girl to friend: We can't hang out at my house. I don't know anyone there anymore.
–125th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
Guy cycling past very fast, to cycling companion: So he bought a whole house just to store pot?
–Prospect Park, Brooklyn
Overheard by: peeper
City cop to two homeless guys: If your house is worth like $200,000, you can probably only get a equity loan for like $100,000. (homeless guys nod their heads in agreement)
–Madison Square Park
Overheard by: E
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
