Fireman #1: You never hook me up!
Fireman #2: Uh…
Fireman #1: How many years have I known you, and you never once hooked me up?
Fireman #3: Well, that’s ’cause you’re disgusting.
–Fire Dept., Great Jones St
Fireman #1: You never hook me up!
Fireman #2: Uh…
Fireman #1: How many years have I known you, and you never once hooked me up?
Fireman #3: Well, that’s ’cause you’re disgusting.
–Fire Dept., Great Jones St
Chick: I hooked up with everyone. I even hooked up with my dealer.
Dude: Yeah, you did.
Chick: But I had to break up — he was too thuggish.
–1 train
Guy to girl: I never hooked up when I was blacked out.
Hobo: You never blacked out from liquor?! I’m about to!
–23rd & 2nd
Intellectual white guy: Happy Cinco de Mayo!
White hipster girl: Thanks! Did I mention I fucked a black guy last night?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: J Dizzle, attorney at large
Party girl, looking at police on horses: I want to take a horse to the Upper East Side!
Jock: You’re going to the Upper East Side? Want to share a cab?
Party girl: Sure.
Jock: Want to fuck?
Party girl: Sure.
–21st & 6th
Overheard by: wish i had asked her
Girl #1: Did you hook up with Josh last weekend?
Girl #2: Yeah, we got really drunk and I blew him and we did anal. I dunno if I want to lose my virginity with him, though.
–86th St, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Kandiru
Teen thug #1: You met her in rehab? Son, you was only there three days…!
Teen thug #2: Yo, but check this out — she’s 35!
Teen thug #1: Son, she gonna drop yo’ ass when she finds out how old you are!
Teen thug #2: I already told her.
Teen thug #1, after long pause: Shit, then she a pedophile, son!
–F train
Overheard by: Missin the city
Bimbette #1: Yeah, that party was so hot, and that guy was so sweet, you know? He really didn’t have to buy me a drink.
Bimbette #2: Yeah, that’s why you did a good job in choosing to hook up with him!
–Spring St platform
Law student: Dude, when I started school I was like,’ This shit’s gonna suck for my social life,’ but it turns out there are tons of cute girls in law school and they love to get drunk.
Non-law student: Really? So you’ve hooked up with a lot of girls at school?
Law student: Just one, actually, but it was only because I needed her notes.
–Metro North to White Plains
Chick: Don’t eat that!
Guy: Why? What did you do to it?
Chick: Nothing! It’s just been all over the table!
Guy: [Silently eats it.]Chick: Oh my god. I’m never hooking up with you!
–Palladium Dining Hall, 14th & 4th
Overheard by: Emily
