Where Do Your Parents Think You Are?

Underage brunette: So, do you want to go somewhere else? I kind of want to stay because that guy is so hot!
Underage blonde: No, I want to stay here because my ID works here and I'm afraid to go somewhere else. Yeah, he is hot, it's weird that he's ignoring you.
Underage brunette: I know, right? I just want to go home with him tonight.
Underage blonde: Well, when we hooked up we had sex four times that night, you know?
Underage brunette: Yeah, I guess I need to get a little more drunk. Let's go.

–Bathroom, Heartland Brewery, Empire State Building

Overheard by: nycResident

Posted on August 19, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Empire State Building, Girls, Hook Ups, Offers and requests, Relationships, Stall Spies, Teens

Maybe They’re in an Open Marriage (We’re Just Putting That Out There…)

Young woman #1: Oh, so that guy I slept with the other week? He’s my friend on Facebook now. Did you see him?
Young woman #2: Is he the bald guy?
Young woman #1: No, he has dark hair. His profile picture is him kissing his wife at their wedding.
Young woman #2: He’s married?
Young woman #1: Yeah, I guess so.

–Starbucks, 19th & 8th

Overheard by: My husband is not on Facebook.

Posted on June 17, 2008
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Default, Facebook, Friends, Hair, Hook Ups, Infidelity, Marriage, Questions, Starbucks, Women

He’d Been Wearing His Fat-Invisibility Cloak at the Bar

[Guy walks by and elbows girl in head.]Girl: Ow!
[A drunk girl is passing by.]Drunk girl: I’m sorry!
Girl: No, some guy just elbowed me in the head.
Drunk girl: Don’t worry about it. One time I met this guy here and went home with him, but it turned out he lived in Brooklyn. And he was fat.

–Bar, 14th & Ave A

Posted on June 7, 2008
Advice, Bars & Clubs, Default, Diet/Weight, Drunks, Girls, Hook Ups, NYC Geography, Union Square and East Village

It’s Unlikely Grandma Will Be That Grateful.

Comedy promoter to guy carrying flower: Oh, a flower! Somebody’s getting laid tonight!
Guy carrying flower: That’s doubtful.

–Times Square

Posted on April 4, 2008
9 to 5-ers, Compliments, Default, Guys, Hook Ups, Nice People, Strangers, Times Square, Tourist Attractions, Trees and plants

I Like to Think of My Sex Life As a Christian Charity

Queer: So, I was on a date with this guy, Christian — like the religion — the other night, and we had a nice hug and kiss goodbye. Then he went down into the PATH train. Right after he left, my phone started ringing and it said Christian was calling, and I was like, ‘What? How’s he calling me?’ And then I realized it was Cristian, C-R-I-S-T-I-A-N, this other guy I hooked up with a few months ago. So I answered and we ended up hooking up again that night… So, I had two Christians in one night. If this were ancient Rome, I’d be the lion in the Colosseum.

–Posh bar

Overheard by: Melissa Berry

Posted on November 8, 2007
Bars & Clubs, Hook Ups, Names, Queer guys

Put That Hose Away, Would Ya?

Fireman #1: You never hook me up!
Fireman #2: Uh…
Fireman #1: How many years have I known you, and you never once hooked me up?
Fireman #3: Well, that’s ’cause you’re disgusting.

–Fire Dept., Great Jones St

Posted on October 16, 2007
Beauty, Coworkers, Firemen, Hook Ups, Talking/Convos, The Village, Time

The Era of the Gentleman Dealer Is Sadly Over

Chick: I hooked up with everyone. I even hooked up with my dealer.
Dude: Yeah, you did.
Chick: But I had to break up — he was too thuggish.

–1 train

Posted on October 5, 2007
Breaking Up, Druggies, Drugs, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hook Ups, On the Subway, Promiscuity, Violence

Anybody Wants a Kidney, Be My Guest

Guy to girl: I never hooked up when I was blacked out.
Hobo: You never blacked out from liquor?! I’m about to!

–23rd & 2nd

Posted on October 4, 2007
Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Hobos, Hook Ups, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Time

After Twelve Years of Marriage, It’s No Longer Exotic

Intellectual white guy: Happy Cinco de Mayo!
White hipster girl: Thanks! Did I mention I fucked a black guy last night?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: J Dizzle, attorney at large

Posted on July 9, 2007
Academics, Hipsters, Hook Ups, Penn Station, White People

Hey, New Yorkers Are Busy

Party girl, looking at police on horses: I want to take a horse to the Upper East Side!
Jock: You’re going to the Upper East Side? Want to share a cab?
Party girl: Sure.
Jock: Want to fuck?
Party girl: Sure.

–21st & 6th

Overheard by: wish i had asked her

Posted on July 8, 2007
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Drunks, Hook Ups, Meatheads, Pick-up Lines

Hook Ups