Child: Mommy, what happened when you were 17?
Mother: Mommy turned to a life of crime.
Child: Well, what happened when you were 18?
Mother: Mommy cleaned herself up.
–MoMA
Child: Mommy, what happened when you were 17?
Mother: Mommy turned to a life of crime.
Child: Well, what happened when you were 18?
Mother: Mommy cleaned herself up.
–MoMA
Five-year-old white boy: Mommy! Mommy! That man and that woman have American flags!
Mom: That’s a Puerto Rican flag, honey.
Little boy: But it’s red, white, and blue.
Mom: Both of our flags are red, white, and blue. Our flag has 52 stars and theirs only has one.
–Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: 4th Grade US History Graduate
Girl #1: Look at these pictures.
(girl #2 starts to look at pictures)
Girl #2: Oh look, my son looks like one of those… uhhh… hmmm…? I forgot what they are called.
Girl #1: A hungry child?
Girl #2: Yeaaaah, like one of those kids from a third world country.
–Buhre Avenue, Bronx
Overheard by: DaILList4Ever
Son: Dad, you want my banana?
Dad: Hell, no, I don’t want your banana! That don’t even sound right!
–M9 bus, Ave B
Overheard by: JennPee
Mother: So, were you successful?
Daughter: With what, taking a shit?
–Gershwin Theatre, W. 51st Street
Female coworker: So, does your son have dark hair like you?
Male coworker: No, he has sort of sandy hair — like a cross between me and his mom, Lisa.
Female coworker: Oh.
Male coworker: But, you know, he has big nipples like Lisa.
–NJ Transit train
Girl #1: Where are all the violent toys?
Girl #2: Does he like trucks?
Girl #1: No, he’s violent. There’s no violent toys; this store is too good.
Girl #2: I’ll talk to the manager about that.
–West Side Kids, Amsterdam Avenue
Overheard by: kreg
Young father: Here we are — New York City! The greatest city in the world.
Four-year-old son: Even better than Hoboken, Dad?
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Phil
Mom to little kid: Joey has two moms.
Kid: I'm pretty sure he has three.
–116th St & Amsterdam Ave
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
