Wheeling and Dealing (A NYC Short Story)

Chick on cell: …girl, you know I told her I would give her $5 and she would put in five. Right, so the guy gave us two dimes, right?… No, he gave us the second one for free, but it looked mangled, so then we went out back to smoke it and hers flew away…Yeah, it flew away into the bushes. Yo, I told her if she wanted to smoke grass for reals, that’s on her. I was like, I’m out…Right, so then I didn’t have no money to get back on the bus because my metrocard ran out at 8:30. She only had a dollar, and I was like, “what am I supposed to do with a dollar?”.

–BX40 bus

Posted on January 30, 2021
On Cell, On the Bus, Weed

Must… Resist… Venn Diagram… Headline

Hipster guy: I don’t like him. He’s a douchebag.
Hipster girl: I said he was a nice guy. I didn’t say he wasn’t a douchebag.

–M1 bus

Overheard by: Kinda Nice Guy

Posted on January 28, 2021
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Hipsters, On the Bus

You Keep Saying It, We’ll Keep Posting It

Black girl: Some motherfucker put me on this site called overheardinnewyork.com. It’s so fucked up. Why would anyone put what I said on the streets to a site? This shit is not fucking funny.
Black guy: What was put up? I gotta check this out, this shit sounds funny.
Black girl: You were there, it was the time I told this Chinese nigger to apologize and he ended up telling me to go fuck myself, and it was posted by some motherfucker called Ting. Is that even a real fucking name?
Black guy: Yeah, I remember that, that shit was hilarious.
Black girl: Fuck you laughing at? Don’t make me rip your balls out.

–Q46 bus

Overheard by: Ting (again!)

Posted on January 16, 2021
Anger Management, Black People, Bus, On the Bus, Queens

If We Got Married, It Wouldn't Be an Issue!

Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.

–BX10 Bus

Overheard by: My mom and I too

Posted on December 2, 2020
Bimbettes, Bus, Family Ties, Names, On the Bus, Stupidity

Send Them Fanta Faster, Faster

Guy #1: Did you hear they’re gonna still have Mardi Gras this year in New Orleans?
Guy #2: Man! I should have known. Those sorts of things always go on, come Hell or high water.
Guy #1: Yeah. I think it’s gonna be both in this case.

–M31 bus

Overheard by: Blake Royer

Posted on November 28, 2020
Celebrations/Parties, Guys, Idiots, On the Bus, Words

I’m a Silent, Consensual Killer

Boy: I’m a ninja… but not a tree ninja.
Friend: That’s good.
Boy: And I don’t rape people.
Friend: That’s also good.
Boy: Or trees…

–Bus

Posted on November 21, 2020
Boys, Kids, On the Bus

The Protocols of the Elders of Fashion

Woman #1: Are you Jewish?
Woman #2: Do I look Jewish? No, I’m not Jewish. I wear pants.

–B1 bus

Posted on September 10, 2020
Clothing, Judaism, On the Bus, Stupidity, Women

It’s All Greek to Me

Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.

–Midtown office

Posted on September 8, 2020
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Astoria, Babies, Foreigners, Grocery Stores, Ground Zero, Man's Best Friend, Manhattan, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, Office, On Cell, On the Bus, People, Places, Poop, Pop Culture, Port Authority, Queens, Shoot, Suits, Times Square, Topics, TV, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Women

Populated by Ignorant Yet Stylish Tourists?

Girl to friend: I don't even know what Morocco's like.
Friend: Well, they filmed Sex and the City 2 there–that's what it's like!

–M15 Bus

Overheard by: AMC

Posted on July 13, 2020
Bus, Friends, Girls, Global Geography, Movies, On the Bus

My Wig’s about to Achieve Liftoff

Old white woman: Oh, it’s so windy today!
Black girl: Word. My weave’s about to blow off my head.
Old white woman: I hear that.

–M66 bus

Posted on June 27, 2020
Black People, Hair, On the Bus, White People

On the Bus