Shamrock Day: the Aftermath

Short guy: You owe me money.
Hefty guy: I don’t owe you shit, Goldilocks! Don’t make me fucking slap you.
Short guy: I thought it was Erin Go Bragh, not Erin Go Fuck You Up.

–N train

Drunk Irish guy #1: So what are you ladies doing after this?
Drunk Irish girl #1: More bar hopping.
Drunk Irish guy #2: So you ladies into having some fun tonight?
Drunk Irish girl #2: What do you mean?
Drunk Irish guy #2: We could have one big drunken orgy.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Are you kidding me? Go blow out your ass, stupid.
Drunk Irish guy #2: OK, how about I feel those big tits?
Drunk Irish girl #1: You are an idiot.
Drunk Irish guy #2: Fuck you, you fat bitch.

The guys walk away.

Drunk Irish girl #3: Why did you have to say that for?
Drunk Irish girl #2: He was being a jerk.
Drunk Irish girl #3: But they are cute.
Drunk Irish girl #2: Yeah, you right.

–44th & 8th

Overheard by: kendra

Sort of drunk guy: You’re getting more beer? You can barely walk.
Really drunk guy: That’s no reason to stop drinking.

–Saint Mark’s Place & 3rd Ave.

Posted on November 13, 2023
Bitch-slap, Drunks, Height, Holidays, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, Pickiness, Union Square and East Village

First is Worst / Pennsylvania is Best

Teen girl #1: I’m going to Delaware this weekend. Fucking Delaware!
Teen girl #2: It’s not that bad, Delaware’s cool.
Teen girl #1: No, it’s not. Delaware’s like…a booger in the nose of America, a pimple on the chin of the USA, a snaggletooth in the smile of–
Teen girl #2: OK, we get it. You hate Delaware.

–1 train

Posted on November 9, 2023
On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Teens, Travel, U.S. Geography

We All Produce Chocolate Bars and Lemonade

A boy pulls Swedish fish, a king-size Twix, king-size Skittles, and a bottle of lemonade out of his pocket.

His friend sitting next to him says: This kid’s a fucking vending machine! You give him a quarter, he spits out gum!

–1 train

Posted on October 29, 2023
Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, On the Subway, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Readers: Answer Her Rhetorical Question

College chick: She’s all gay. She’s like, “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.” Then why you fuckin a guy?

–D train

Posted on October 27, 2023
Lesbians, On the Subway, Sex, Yeaaahhh College!

At Least They’re Reading

Boy, 10 #1: What’s credit? How do you get credit?
Boy, 10 #2: It’s like, you know when you take out a book with your library card? If you don’t return it like forever, then you get bad credit.

–6 train

Overheard by: bluesdog

Posted on October 20, 2023
Business and Commerce, Kids, Library, Money & Class, On the Subway, Questions

That, Or Really Bad at Russian Roulette

Woman, 40s: So why did he shoot himself?
Guy, 40s: I guess he must’ve been depressed.

–2 train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Posted on October 15, 2023
Death, Ladies Who Lunch, On the Subway

She Probably Is Smarter Than Average

Chick: So, I’m smart, right? I mean, I consider myself smarter than the average woman. So I go to this interview, and they give me this test, a long test like the SATs. And I’m drunk. So I get a call later, “Sorry, you didn’t do as well as we’d hoped.”

–F train