Little girl: Hey mom, what's a cloister?
Little boy: It's a Pokemon, duh!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Little girl: Hey mom, what's a cloister?
Little boy: It's a Pokemon, duh!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Girl #1: I have an idea, why don’t we keep the doors open so even more people can pack in? Are we close enough yet?
Guy: Yeah. I could start crowd surfing.
Girl #1: It just sucks being squeezed in like this. Especially when you have to get off at the next stop–
Guy: Like you are going to do.
Girl #1: –and people won’t get out of the way. It’s like they don’t understand that you have to get off. This time I’m going to be like, “Bitches, get out of my way!”
Guy: Yeah.
Girl #1: I’m just trying to find one thing about this that doesn’t suck and I’ve got nothing.
Guy: Me either.
Girl #1: This is a nightmare…It’s so annoying to be forced to be so close to so many people in such a small space–
Girl #2: Yeah, it is really annoying, especially when you are forced to hear someone else’s conversation.
Guy: Whoa! What timing.
–L train
Indian guy #1: What would you rather have: the bling-bling or the ching-ching?
Indian guy #2: Well, I would have the ching-ching because you cannot have the bling-bling without the ching-ching.
–R train
Overheard by: Richard
Drunk Irish woman: What time is it?
Drunk Irish man: Nine o’clock.
Drunk Irish woman: It’s early! The bars are open until four here. We still have [pauses to count on her fingers] seven hours!
–uptown 1 train
Overheard by: Cat
Woman (wearing red pants & with red fingernails): I just made the greatest discovery: if I always dress in red, then I will always match and always look good! I’m now in the middle of getting rid of all my old clothing and buying only red clothing.
— Subway
Seven-year-old kid #1: Did you see pookie at school the other day?
Seven-year-old kid #2: Yeah, but I don't know… Her personality at school is all nice and shit, but have you seen her Facebook profile?! You can tell that bitch likes to fuck!
–Q Train
Jamaican guy holding full length mirror: One dollar to look at yourself in the mirror! One dollar! I am the first to come up with this idea! Don’t steal it, or I’ll sue you… [He’s ignored.] Okay, first time is free! C’mon, first time free! Or gimme a quarter!
Laughing kid: Yo, what are you smoking, man?
Jamaican guy: I smoke blood! I don’t drink blood, I smoke blood!
Unrelated Jamaican girl: Why you so loud? Shut up already.
Jamaican guy: I’m sorry, ma. You’re so beautiful. I look at you, I just can’t believe how beautiful you are. How ’bout you gimme one dollar, look in the mirror?
–6 train
Overheard by: Sam McDermott
Southern woman on cell: I could not feel worse than I do right now…You will…Oh my god, they are gonna have to land that airplane so you can vomit.
–66th between CPW and Columbus
Overheard by: Charlie
Dirtbag: Man, I have to get over to Europe. I gotta sell a fucking kidney.
–St. Mark’s Place
Man on cell: Yeah baby, yeah, I’m still in London. Yeah, I’ll be back on Wednesday, baby.
–West 4th & Jane
Conductor: You’re now entering the country of Brooklyn. Please have your passports ready…
–F train
Overheard by: Paul Eng
Girlfriend: So, you want to make out?
Boyfriend: Both of us?
Girlfriend: Uh… yeah, generally that's how it works.
–A Train
Woman rushing out of train: Does this train stop at the next stop?
Guy: No.
–downtown C train, 59th St
