One-liners

Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.

–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street

Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.

–6 train

Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.

–L train

Overheard by: Jess

Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.

–Union Square

Guy: You got something on your face.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: EBS

Girl #1: So I know some Chinese now.
Girl #2 Really?
Girl #1: Yeah. I learned how to say our phone number from hearing you order food all the time.

–1 train

Overheard by: Karl Sturmgewehr

Grandma: Who is that? What’s the commotion about?
Teen girl: It’s Paris Hilton.
Grandma: Who is that?
Teen girl: She’s a media blowjob, Nana. Let’s get a move on, we’re
late and Daddy’s waiting for us at the hotel.

–41st & 6th

Overheard by: Brian Otano