One-liners

Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?

–55th & 9th

Overheard by: Luke Reynolds

Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.

–59th & Lexington

Girl on cell: …And I was like, “Good thing you think I’m pregnant.”

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Halcyon Murphy

Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.

–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street

Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.

–6 train

Hobo: You want to see the ugliest person…Look over there at the lady in the brown coat. Don’t look though, it could be scary. It’ll electrify ya. Scare ya stiff. That, my friends, is ugly.

–L train

Overheard by: Jess

Dude: Shit man, slow down. Slow down. Whatcha runnin’ to?Yoga? Nigga’s runnin’ to yoga. White man runnin’ to yoga. Thought yoga was supposed to cure that shit.

–Union Square

Guy: You got something on your face.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: EBS