One-liners

Guy: That’s why people like me: for my vagina-cleansing properties.

–Times Square station

Overheard by: Thiess

Dowager: Today was the first day I took a Celebrex since the pogo stick thing.

–Park & 60th

Overheard by: Frank Laser

Suit on cell: It’s sex: somebody’s always taking advantage of someone else…Oh shit, this girl just gave me a look. That’s gonna be on Overheard tomorrow, I just know it.

–45th & Lexington

Overheard by: No, not her

Hobo: Yeah man, that’s good shit. Except for those white-ass American bandstand drummers. Whoever heard of fucking Clark Kent playing bongos?

–55th & 9th

Overheard by: Luke Reynolds

Mother: Hmm…remind me to make a stop at The Home Depot on the way home. Your father said he needed a stripper to remove some paint.

–59th & Lexington

Girl on cell: …And I was like, “Good thing you think I’m pregnant.”

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Halcyon Murphy

Guy: It’s not that I’m against marriage. I mean, I like weddings.

–Sammy’s Roumanian Steakhouse, Chrystie Street

Guy: The only reason she was hanging out with those dudes is because she was hoping that one of them would kill me…But that’s neither here nor there.

–6 train