One-liners

Good Conduct for Wednesday One-liners

Conductor: …Transfer available here to the F, V, N, Q, R and W. Next stop: New Jersey. Stand clear of the closing doors.

–B train

Overheard by: comicgirl

Posted on March 29, 2006
On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Stupidity, Subway conductors, Travel

Wednesday One-liners Love Their Mommy

Woman: Well, he should just get over it. Who doesn’t have a mother who died?

–MOMA cafeteria

Overheard by: Deborah Freeman

Posted on March 29, 2006
Arts & Letters, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Death, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, Manhattan, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, More museums, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Poop, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Sex & Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Violence

Wednesday One-liners Turn Up the Radio

Tween girl: The thing most people don’t get about techno is, it’s so emotional.

–76th & 2nd

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on March 29, 2006
About Celebrities, Brooklyn, Central Park, Health and Hygiene, Hobos, JAPs, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Music, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Pop Culture, Restaurants & Cafes, STDs, Subway conductors, Teens, The Bronx, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners Turn It Up a Notch

Teen girl: God, you are so self-conscious sometimes I want to punch you in the face.

–A train

Overheard by: Niki

Posted on March 29, 2006
Anger Management, Asians, Brooklyn, Health and Hygiene, Kink, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On the Subway, One-liners, Park Slope, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Staten Island Ferry, Subway conductors, Teens, Thugs, Trains Not Subway, Violence

Wednesday One-liners Flick the Clicker

Chick: She’s like a human Muppet…But not sexually.

–Bleecker & Sullivan

Overheard by: John Auld

Posted on March 29, 2006
Brooklyn, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Pop Culture, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, TV, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-liners Sit on the Throne

Woman on cell: Hold on, I have to juggle, I’m pushing a stroller, walking the dog and holding a big bag of poop.

–189th & Broadway

Posted on March 22, 2006
Arts & Letters, Astoria, Brooklyn, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Manhattan, More museums, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Poop, Queens, Retail Therapy, Should've Used a Condom, Stall Spies, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-liners Are for Boobs

Drunk girl: What kind of guys do you like?…What kind of guys do you like? I like guys with big tits.

–2nd Avenue & 11th Street

Overheard by: vegantoast

Posted on March 22, 2006
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Fashion, Food, Junk Food & Fast Food, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Park Slope, Poop, Queens, Sex, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-liners Will Miss Greenspan

Chick on cell: I need you to give me a ride home when I get off the bus. My grandma has been standing in front of my house for over one hour…I bet you anything she needs money again.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Julio

Posted on March 22, 2006
Astoria, Fashion, Food, Hobos, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On the Subway, One-liners, Port Authority, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Shopping, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-liners Are on the Other Line

Construction guy: Well, she didn’t sound Chinese over the phone.

–Fulton & William

Posted on March 22, 2006
Asians, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dating, Etiquette, Lower East Side, Manhattan, Masturbation, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Relationships, Restaurants & Cafes, Retail Therapy, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Wednesday One-liners Still Like Jesse

Guy: Did you see that woman? She looked at us like she’d never seen a black man before.

–NYU College of Dentistry elevator, East 24th Street

Posted on March 22, 2006
Asians, Brooklyn, College, Drinking & Drunk People, Elevators, Etiquette, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, National Security, NYU, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Religion, Stupidity, The Village, Upper East Side