Atlantic Avenue announcement: The 2, 3, 4, 5, b and q trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the n, d, or r trains.
Pacific Street announcement: The n, d and r trains are not running into Manhattan. As an alternative, take the 2, 3, 4, 5, b or q trains.
–Atlantic/Pacific Subway Station
Overheard by: Jen Diff
Old Chinese lady: No luggage allowed. Leave it outside. This is my building! I own it!
(College kid, obviously from out of town, leaves in fear)
Old Chinese lady: Puta!
(college kid scurries away)
College kid on cell: Yeah, I did what they say on Law & Order. Never make eye contact with a New Yorker.
–Penn Station Entrance
Overheard by: kash
Young girl: Ummm…sir, would you like some help with those directions?
Crazy dude: Yes! Thank you.
Young girl: So you have to take this train to 42nd…
Crazy dude: What I need to know is, do I have to be in the front of the train, or the back of the train, to get the shuttle?
Young girl: It doesn’t matter. You just ride this train to 42nd and you get off and look for the shuttle. It doesn’t matter which car you’re in.
Crazy dude: You see, I need to get my head fixed, and I need to know which car…
Conducter: Need some help?
Crazy dude: Yes, thank you. I need to get the shuttle at 42nd St. Do I have to be in the front of the train, or the back?
Conducter: In the middle.
Crazy dude: Thank you!
–A train
Guy to security guard: We're not fucking tourists, man, we're just trying to get back to our home in Jersey.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Metrosexual guy: There are two kinds of people I will never, ever, date. One are people who are culturally ignorant. The second is people from New Jersey.
–45th & 5th
Overheard by: Mr. Pink
Proper British woman to loud drunk guy: Go back to Jersey!
–BB King Concert, Christ United Church
Overheard by: bb
Uptight 40-something white guy: I can't wait to get safely back in New Jersey!
–A Train
Overheard by: JoshBob
Girl to boyfriend, on the 4th of July: I love it here, *this* is America!
Woman passing by: No, honey, this is New York.
–Outside Grand Central
Overheard by: Lee
Chick #1: The East Village is so gentrified.
Chick #2: Yeah. Brooklyn is really gentrified. It didn’t used to be like that.
Chick #1: America… is pretty gentrified.
Chick #2: Yeah.
–St. Marks & A
Overheard by: Dav Ellman
Tourist choir dude: You'll have to smoke.
Tourist choir chick: No, I won't.
Tourist choir dude: Yes, you have to smoke if you live here.
–Broadway & Wall St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough.
–Bowling Green
Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York.
–Worth & Broadway
Overheard by: Half Shirt
Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.”
–Office, Carnegie Hall
Overheard by: inge
Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas!
–Uptown R train
Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this!
–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Dr. Mary
Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jen
Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here!
–Times Square
Teen boy #1: We’re getting back pretty late. What are you going to tell your mom?
Teen boy #2: I’ll say we were at dinner until 10:00, and–
Teen boy #1: No way! We went to dinner at 6:15! There’s no such thing as a four hour dinner!
Teen boy #2: Okay, I’ll say that we went to dinner at 7:15, and that we stayed until 8:45 because it was a buffet…then we went and hung out at Times Square–
Teen boy #1: You should tell her that I did something bad, otherwise she’ll be suspicious.
–N train
Girl #1: I heard on a show that Times Square was getting seedy again.
Girl #2: Times Square should be seedy. Tourists come here and they want to see hookers and pimps and drug dealers hanging around. Not the Prudential Financial display.
–Times Square
Driver being diverted past blockaded street: What's going on here?
Cop diverting traffic: What's going on? It's New York freaking City! That's what's going on! Move along!
–9th Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: Mighty Spatula
